


When the Roses Still Bloomed

by taekinks



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Paranormal, klance, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-12-12 03:21:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekinks/pseuds/taekinks
Summary: When Lance, a young peasant boy with no memory of his past, stumbles upon the vampire prince of his crumbling nation, he is stricken by a sense of unexplained longing and familiarity. He comes to find out that this cold, brooding stranger holds the secrets to his true upbringing, but will he live long enough to put all the pieces together? When facing shocking revelations about his parents and childhood, he struggles to maintain his sanity and stay true to his heart, all while trapped in a web of lies, love and lust.





	1. Street Rat

**Author's Note:**

> (Klance, Vampire Prince AU)  
> Setting: Victorian Era England, 1848.

“Hey, are you even listening, Lance? I'll report you to the police if I catch you stealing from my shop again, do you hear me?” 

Miss Holt held me in a headlock, crushing me between her large breasts with a surprisingly strong grip. That woman was short, and the wrinkles on her pudgy face made it evident that she'd gone through the rigors of motherhood more than once, but was she weak? God no. She was built like an ox, and with a diet consisting mostly of stolen food and stale bread, I held no ground against her. Still, I couldn't help but laugh as she yelled in my ear with that nagging voice of hers. In all honesty, I loved every aspect of it, because despite me being little more than a common thief, she treated me like a human being.

“You say that everyday, Miss, but I’m sure you know by now that I’ll be back.” I cooed and craned my neck to see the look on her face with a smug smile on mine.

“Who do you think you are, boy?” She raised her thinly plucked brows and opened her mouth wide, threatening me with an open palm as I squeezed my eyes shut and awaited impact. Then, she let out an irritated sigh, “I'd slap you if you didn't have such a pretty face.” 

With that, she let me free of her deadly grasp, but not before giving one of my very prominent ears a good tug.

“Oh, but I’m nothing compared to you, Miss. You don't look a day over twenty yet you're thriving enough to have a pest like me feeding off of you.” I bowed jokingly, beaming when her plump cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink.

“Well, it's not so bad when you put it that way.” She sighed and fanned herself with her hand, refusing eye contact as she managed a little giggle, “In fact, why don't you hang out here for a minute. I'll see if I have anything in the back to spare.”

“Bless you, Miss.” I called as she turned her back to me, her large hips swaying as she marched away to fetch me bread from yesterday's batch. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful her corset was, and she always had her hair done so nicely. It was really a shame what happened to her husband, because I'm sure she had made a lovely wife when he was still around. And while she’d undoubtedly put on a few pounds, and while heartbreak had definitely begun to take its toll on her face, I’m sure if he were to ever return, he’d find her just as beautiful as ever. 

See, on the streets, you tend to hear a lot of rumors. According to one of Miss Holt’s nosier customers, Mr. Holt had been arrested for tax evasion and taken to Lord Kogane’s castle a few years back. Her son was taken too, and soon after, her young daughter disappeared with no explanation. If that were truly the case, I wouldn't doubt they were dead by now. I heard that there were endless corridors lined with prison cells in the castle’s basement, made solely for the purpose of hoarding criminals like livestock. It was scary to think of, almost scary enough to stop me from stealing my way on a daily basis, but then again, I had to eat somehow.

Miss Holt had lost her family around the same time I… Well, it was around the time I first came to this village, to put it simply. Mr. Holt had probably been sold off as a walking blood bag to some lowlife vampire in the time he was missing. That's what happened to criminals in the dungeons, and knowing that, I was confident Miss Holt would never really send me off to a place like that. She had a good heart, and if she'd been patient enough to deal with me taking from her shop window every morning for almost three years, I knew I could rely on her for a while longer before I found work. 

Though, I wasn't so sure about the other people in the village. If it meant getting me away from their stores and out of the heads of their trouble making daughters, they'd sell me off to the king in an instant. However, sending me off meant the police would come, and when police arrested one person in a village, it wasn't unlikely that they’d take a few dozen more with them to fill their immortal stomachs.

That's how corrupt our nation was. In the center of everything was this enormous castle housing the Kogane family and their servants. To be royal meant to be pure blood, a vampire who hadn't a drop of human DNA, and being a servant to one of those wicked beasts meant you bent over backwards for them, and if they wanted blood? Well, you gave it to them. 

Immediately surrounding the castle was a massive village, or city, as they called it, of vampires from every walk of life you could imagine. They were wealthy and well fed by the castle’s prisoners, which they could easily purchase off the black market. Then there was the Forest of Ash surrounding the city, and past that were villages like the one I was unfortunate enough to live in. While we were still technically under Kogane's rule, we were very far from the castle geographically, and even further from its residents culturally. As humans, we were heavily taxed, assaulted and tormented by sharp-toothed officers that got a kick out seeing us submit to them, and more than anything? We were ignored like the rats in the sewers beneath their feet. The vampires were the only lives worth protecting, for they lived a thousand years, and we were lucky to squeeze out eighty from our sickly bodies. 

As for me, I'd be lucky to make it past thirty at the rate I was going. I didn't eat much, my clothes were hardly enough to get me through the winter months, and the plague was starting to spread in fast from the port towns. You'd be surprised at how often I woke up to a rat chewing on my nose. 

However, my biggest problem wasn’t hunger or disease, not even the vampires that seemed to think they had every right to ruin what was left of my life. No, the only problem that really kept me awake at night was one of seemingly little importance. It sounded so stupid considering all of the other things I had on my plate, or rather, all the things I didn't, but there was something seriously wrong with me. I was a street rat, that I was sure of, but for a reason unbenounced to my peasant mind, I couldn’t recall any events in my life taking place before about three years ago. I know it must have sounded crazy, but it seemed as though my first breath was taken as a teenager, lying in an alley with a letter in my pocket stating my name and some useless information about my parents. From there and only there had I begun my conscious life, and I knew very little of what came before that moment. Maybe I was drugged or cursed, or maybe I’d just gotten so drunk one night that I passed out and couldn’t remember anything about myself when I woke up. Whatever the reason, it was something that I lived with, that constant self doubt and feeling of utter emptiness. But I didn’t believe I was insane, exactly. I was well read, and I liked to think I was somewhat intelligent. Though, I couldn’t quite rely on my brain when I was missing roughly thirteen years of information, that is, if that information had ever really existed to begin with. 

But whether it did or not, I knew who I was in that moment. I was Lance, an orphan whose parents were.supposedly rebels in the fight against vampire kind. Not that I cared. They were gone and I was alone, that's just how it was. I was Lance, a street rat who was probably crazy but charming enough to get by on my good looks. I was Lance, just Lance, and having no one to rely on but the old widow who ran the bakery shop on the corner, I was certain that’s all I’d ever be.

Miss Holt returned soon enough, but she was carrying a bit more than just the usual loaf of bread. She held a mesh bag full of dinner rolls and croissants in one hand and a nice looking leather jacket in the other, which despite the recent drop in temperature, I hoped to God she didn’t plan on giving me.

“Lance, as irritating as you are, you remind me a lot of my husband,” she smiled as she stopped before me, staring at her feet sheepishly with a wholesome look of bittersweet happiness on her face, “And, well, I was cleaning up earlier and found his old jacket. My son is gone as well and I have no other use for it, so… Well, I want you to have it.” 

I didn't know what to say as she placed the worn jacket into my arms. My first instinct was to try to give it back. I told her I wasn't worth it, that I was just a pest and she shouldn't tarnish her husband's name while he was away. I knew it was just my obnoxious pride, and deep down I wanted nothing more than to carry on a good man’s memory, but it was hard to accept something of such value. But she insisted, and I was glad for once that she was such a stubborn woman. 

“You give a little old lady like me compliments everyday. That's more than enough to pay for some measly bread, Lance. Even if you do give me headaches.” She smiled an honest, genuine smile. I was a bit overwhelmed, with happiness and guilt and a sense of belonging, yet all I could manage was a puny ‘thank you’. Though, I suppose the glossy look in my eyes was enough to show my gratitude, because she quickly leaned in and placed a soft peck on my cheek.

She waved to me as she walked back into her shop and I could hardly take my eyes off of her. I wondered how someone who had lost everything could be so kind, because I was sure I'd never be quite the same if I went through such a hellish thing. Maybe she was just hopeful they'd return, and if that was what kept her so compassionate, I wanted to be hopeful for the future as well.

Feeling unusually positive thanks to Miss Holt, I staggered backwards into the street sporting my new jacket and a week’s worth of food. The moment she disappeared from view, I blindly turned on my heel in the crowded market place, which on second thought, probably wasn’t the best move.

Of course, because whatever deity had been watching over me that day wanted to make sure I wasn't happy for more than ten seconds, I ran into a man, well, a boy around my age. The second our bodies crashed into each others and my bag of bread and pastries went tumbling to the ground, the crowd around us gasped. As I looked up, I noticed how carefully everyone else had been avoiding him, almost like he had a bubble around him or something and I'd been the idiot to pop it. 

My eyes shifted curiously to his face, and even upon first glance, it was clear why he'd managed to part the crowd like Moses. My mouth hung open at the extravagant red vest he wore and his upstanding collar. He had on jewelry that looked to be worth more than every penny I’d ever earned combined. It was clear then why the village people had avoided him, and why his clothes were so pristine, and why everyone stared at me like I'd just committed murder. He was a vampire, and with vampires came trouble. 

“What the hell? Watch where you're going, peasant boy.” Another man, well dressed but not quite as so, appeared at the boy's side as if he’d been waiting for this moment to happen all day. He was a vampire as well, a bodyguard of some sort to the boy who looked strangely like an old friend.

I just sighed and turned to pick up the food that had fallen from the bag, trying my very best not to piss them off further. However, it wasn't as simple as dusting off and moving on. 

The villagers ducked into nearby shops to avoid the oncoming conflict. I could feel their prying eyes on us, watching with smiles on their faces from windows and balconies lining the street. It was like a show to them, like I was a puppet on a string made for their enjoyment. Well, it was fitting, because to those self righteous pricks I was basically a ragdoll.

As I reached for my bag, a boot came swiftly down on my hand belonging to yet another frilly bodyguard that had appeared from God knows where. I yelped and pulled back, giving up on my only source of decent food for the next few days to at least scavenge what was left of my pride. I stood slowly as to not trigger any further conflict, but it seemed they got off on the drama of abusing a human.

Both the guards had their teeth on full display. They wore their heritage like a red flag to ward off humans, parading around like foolish beasts. That being said, how foolish was I to have run into them?

Despite his two goons sporting their sharpened canines, the one in the middle held a firm, emotionless stare fixated harshly onto me. His mouth was pulled taught and I couldn't see past his lips, but I knew damn well what was beneath them.

I hated to admit it, especially in that moment, but he was actually quite good looking. Well, terrifying beyond all realms of possibility, but good looking, nonetheless. He had long black hair that he wore half up in a ponytail, leaving the rest to fall at his broad shoulders. His eyes were sharp and narrow and he had the chiseled face to match. Again, I caught that pang of nostalgia when his eyes really settled on mine. I wasn't sure if I believed in reincarnation, but if I did, I would say I'd known him in a past life.

The longer I stared at him, and trust me, it felt like a really long time, the faster my heart began to race. All of a sudden, it felt as though the air was ripped from my lungs. Maybe it was my hunger, or possibly sickness, but it felt like I was about to faint.

I looked away, rubbing my temples and groaning beneath my breath to get rid of the strange feeling. It made me forget where I was for a moment, though, the guards were quick to remind me.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” The two began to zone in on me, making it a point to stomp my pastries and bread into the dirt just to provoke me. I hoped Miss Holt wasn't watching from her window; I'm sure she worked hard making those. 

At that point, the throbbing in my head subsided and I snarled, watching them closely and waiting for the right time to run. That was my only option besides fighting, and hell if I could hold my own against three vampires. I wasn't faster, but I may have been able to loose them in the alleys considering how well I knew the village. It was my home, after all, and I doubted those snobby little vampires had ever been past the Forest of Ash before in their lives.

Though it seemed my window of opportunity had closed before I even had a chance to glance out of it. One of the guards, a blonde brute, suddenly reached up and grasped my shoulder. I tried to pull away, but of course, it was no use against him.

“Running into the prince like that…” he clicked his tongue, “You'd better hope you didn't get him sick you dirty rat.” 

The moment he spoke the word prince, my face dropped and I snapped my head back towards the boy. That's why he looked so damn familiar. The fucking prince... I should have known, I really should have known. People weren't just avoiding him because he was a vampire, they were avoiding him because he had royal blood. 

King Kogane's own damn son was standing before me while two royal guards rounded me like a couple of hungry wolves. I was really in for it, but hey, look on the bright side, maybe I'd get a chance to find Mr. Holt in the dungeons. 

“What, didn't you know?” One asked, toying with the fabric of my jacket as he stopped behind me. I pulled away and let out a strained growl, the altercation suddenly becoming more political than anything else.

“Oh, feisty.” The other chimed in, stopping to the right of me and putting his hands on his hips.

The streets were empty besides the four of us, and I was left to stand face to face with the prince of our godforsaken kingdom. It was surreal, and in the midday sun, so very obvious it wouldn't end well.

“What, are you illiterate?” 

I got angry at that. One, because I knew for a fact that I was more literate than their dumb asses were, and two, because the prince refused to speak and allowed his little servants to do his dirty work. He was just so high and mighty, he couldn't even look me in the eyes as his guard grabbed a hold of me and twisted my arm behind my back.

“Huh? Can you really not speak?” The man took the collar of my jacket and pulled it roughly from my body, letting me stumble into the other vampire who caught me roughly in his arms.

I just watched in horror as the guard took the jacket, the one I had only just received but already treasured as one of my most sacred belongings, and tore it straight down the middle. It was then that I decided, in an unholy fit of rage, that if I was going to go down, I would do it in style.

Knowing damn well everyone was watching from their windows and being almost certain I'd end up locked away for twenty years at least for it, I looked the prince straight in his eyes and spit at his feet.

“You come to my village and have the sense to parade around like a fucking emancipator?” My gaze was poisonous and my words felt like fire boiling up from the depths of my soul. Years of being treated like I was invisible and now was my last chance to really make my voice heard. I didn't care at that point what happened to me. Like my father, like my mother, I would go down fighting against the vampires that made human life so miserable.

“Some advice: don't wear diamonds the size of your damn ego to a place where people are willing to kill to feed their families. How fucking stupid are you?”

There was silence, but I felt the burning glare of the prince and his accomplices. Not only them, but I could only imagine the looks of horror on the faces of all the townspeople watching in secret from their shops. Although, I still hoped Miss Holt wasn't watching. She was the last person I wanted to witness my arrest, which, I had no doubt was coming soon.

“You are no prince. You let these people starve and suffer for the few decades they're alive for what? So you can wear that ugly shit around your neck? Those jewels could save someone's life, but no, I'm sure they're better suited as an accessory that you'll wear once then throw away, right? Am I right, you self righteous bastard?”

Then came a solid punch straight to my jaw. Not by the prince, but by his ass-kissing guard. However, the Prince looked just as shocked as I was as I fell back to the ground. Vampires are strong, and as soon as the punch came, blackness washed over my surroundings. I knew where I was headed, but in my final moments of consciousness, I was just glad that I wouldn't be a burden to Miss Holt anymore. I just wished I could have thanked her more sincerely, because after all she'd done for me, I still only managed to live up to my title as a peasant boy. I’d let her husband’s jacket get destroyed by the same creatures who took him from her and I’d let all that food go to waste, all because of my damn pride. I wished I could have told her how much she really meant to me, because even if I was just a street rat, she had shown me kindness, and that’s all I could have ever asked for.


	2. Summoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Lance awakes in the king's dungeons, he is summoned by the prince himself to presumably face his crimes and accusations of treason, or perhaps there is another reason for the prince's interest in the young peasant. Lance experiences more unexplainable feelings upon seeing the royal vampire and finally begins to chip away at the mystery of his past, but will this clueless street rat be able to make his way in a castle full of monsters?

My body was painfully cold, laying motionless on the damp and rough stone floor as water droplets from the ceiling pipes lured me awake. I peeled my eyes open and let out a yawn, half expecting to find myself in the storage room of some low-end tavern like any typical sunday morning. I thought my headache was a hangover, and that I'd just crashed out after a night of drinking or something. But as I went to rub my eyes and push the hair out of my face, it soon sunk in that no, I wasn't in a tavern, and no, this definitely was not a typical sunday morning. 

My hands were bound behind my back and chained to the wall. While I slept, the rusty steel had dug into my wrists and I couldn't even shift my body without pain piercing through my skin. It took me a while but eventually I was able to sit upright, though just as my eyes began to adjust to the light, a wave of nausea washed over me. I leaned forward and hung my head, waiting for the stomach cramps to pass only to be hit with a sickening dizziness.

I'd fallen ill in the time since I was taken from my home. I hoped it wasn't anything too serious, because aside from my internal discomfort, I had other injuries to be worried about.

It was clear that those officers had beaten me like a dead horse. Even after that initial punch landed me on my ass and seeing stars, it seemed as though they spent some time entertaining themselves. When I looked down at my legs, it wasn't hard to notice the deep bruises covering them. My clothes looked like they'd been dragged through mug, and through the tears, there were cuts and scrapes that had barely had time to cauterize. 

“Damn it.” I groaned and leaned back against the wall, allowing myself to just think for a moment. The events that led up to my arrest started to play back in my head, each painstaking detail. Taking into consideration where I was in that moment, the first thing I felt was immense regret. Who wouldn't?

I was an idiot who thought his pride was worth more than his future. I let those damned vampires provoke me, and now I would pay for it with my life. Was it pathetic of me to cry? Even so, I pinched my eyes shut and clenched my teeth.

I couldn't believe I'd thrown my whole damn life away because I decided to run my mouth. I mean, all I'd done was spit at the prince's feet and call him a bastard. How fucking lame was that? I should have at least punched out one of his fangs or something worth getting arrested over. For once in my short-lived life, I kind of wished I had been more like my parents.

Yeah, believe it or not, I’d actually had a pair of those at one point or another. Or at least, I'm pretty sure I had. 

My mother was supposedly killed after breaking into the castle, while my father was executed after planting explosives in the vampire city capital. Of course, that was all just speculation, spoon fed to me by a letter written by a stranger. I had no real way of knowing for sure where I'd come from, or even my own name, for that matter. See, when I woke up three years ago with no significant memories leading up to that point, all I had was that folded piece of paper in my pocket. It basically said, “Dear Lance, I'm sorry it must be this way, blah, blah, blah. Your parents were rebels and now you're an orphan--surprise! Hope you enjoy your new life on the streets.” 

It was a slap in the face, for sure, and not exactly what a kid my age needed to hear, but I had no other choice but to trust it and move on in order to survive.

My parents were rebels, and even though I didn't necessarily condone violence, my actions seemed so miniscule and pathetic compared to theirs. They'd gone out with a bang, and while that will never make up for them choosing a life of crime over their son, I could have at least followed up on the family practice one last time.

So despite me sitting half-dead in a dungeon, all I could really think about was how I should've made the situation worse when I had the chance. But my window had closed and the opportunity to punch the prince had passed, but that didn't mean I wouldn't still pay for the crime I had already committed. 

“Hey, you awake?” I heard a jarring voice suddenly and glanced up in it's direction. There was a steel door in the cell with a tiny, barred hole at the top. Staring through was a man, and I just thanked god it wasn't one of the ones I'd had the displeasure of already meeting.

“Uhm, yes.” I replied in the clearest voice I could manage, though it was hard to sound decipherable when I'd been passed out for what felt like ages. That, and I had a hard time speaking to him without my agitation poking through a bit. I had no doubt that I'd be dealing strictly with vampires for the time being, which I knew wouldn't bode too well considering my slight bias. But if I couldn't learn to be obedient and polite then I could kiss any chance of survival goodbye.

The door was then pulled open and warm, yellow light washed over me. I must've looked so cowardly. The moment I made eye contact with the guard, I curled up in a ball and did my best to scoot towards the corner of my cell. I was covered in dirt and bruises and shaking like a cat in the rain. I hadn't thought twice about it when I was throwing insults, but now, it really hit me hard. 

While my life had never been great to begin with, it had still been something. Now? Now I'd die without knowing the truth about who I was, who my parents were or where I was from. I would die at the hands of wicked monsters, never having even aided in the rebellion or fought the cruelty that humans had come to expect over the years. I knew I wasn't wrong to feel some level of hatred towards my parents for risking their lives when they knew they had a child waiting at home, but I was beginning to understand them.

Eventually, the man reached for me with strong, limber arms--well, one strong, limber arm. The other was a prosthetic made of rusty metal bars and poorly oiled gears that he moved surprisingly well. He leaned down close and unclasped my handcuffs from the wall, although my arms still remained bound behind my back. Then, as he pulled away, I noticed something in the fingertips of his makeshift hand. It was a collar, and when he leaned forward once more, I realized what he intended to do with it. 

By that point, fighting had deemed itself useless and I did nothing to stop him as he fastened the black, leather collar around my skinny neck. Then came the chain, the one he latched onto my new accessory and pulled me to my feet by.

I was dragged from my cell, and honestly, I'd have much rather stayed within it. I glanced over my shoulder and stared down the dimly lit hall. There were at least a hundred other cells, and unlike mine, these were merely barred and held about twenty prisoners within each one. I flinched as the men, young and old, clawed their bony fingers through bars. They yelled out to the man dragging me god knows where, though he ignored their strained and desperate pleas and continued on.

I guess those rumors about the dungeons were right, and in that case, I might really be sold off as a vampire's slave. Maybe that's the reason I was pulled from my cell, but I suppose it wasn't the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. I mean, there was a chance I would be sold to a young, sexually ambiguous vampire woman, or maybe a rough-yet-gentle man with a scruffy beard… Either of those wouldn't’ve been so bad, but I doubted I'd be so lucky. 

No, I'd probably be sold to a haggardly witch or an angry sot, and if that were the case, I'd have rather just joined those men in their crowded cells. How was I any different from them, anyways? How had I managed to be an outcast even amongst criminals, the only ones on earth that I felt like I should have been able to relate to?

Man, I guess I really was just a loser. No future, no friends, no family. What was the point? Why was I still trying to live like I deserved life? Trash can be made into a million things, but at it's core, it'll always be trash. In the same sense, no matter how hard I tried to be greater than what I was, I would eventually just die a peasant. End of story. But saying that didn't mean my story would really end. I had to keep on living until the end of the very last chapter of my life, even as pathetic as it was.

The man and I neared a staircase and while I hesitated, he merely tugged me forward by my collar like a disobedient mut. He was well in control of me and it would've been useless to pull on my restraints, but that didn't stop me from running my mouth. I was already screwed, so why not just dig my grave a little deeper? You know, for some added leg room.

“Where the hell are you taking me?” I asked, though my voice was still hoarse and groggy from what could have been qualified as a coma.

The man only laughed, but it really wasn't as harsh as you might expect. It was a genuine laugh and after a moment, he answered in a lighthearted voice that shocked me more than it would have if he'd smashed my face against the stone wall.

“I'm not really too sure, honestly. You were summoned by the prince, but that's all I know.”

Just as he spoke of the prince, I stopped dead in my tracks. The man stopped as well, giving me a proper moment to process his response. I just stood with my mouth agape, hanging on his words and repeating them in my head until they became somewhat coherent. 

The prince had summoned me… That was a normal thing to hear, right? I wasn't just, oh, I don't know, completely insane? I needed something else, some sort of clarification at the very least before I could will myself to take another step.

But when I finally looked up at the guard, I couldn't help but find him oddly attractive despite the prominent scar across his nose. I knew that was the furthest from what I should have been concerning myself with but what could I say? I liked pretty faces, and he sure as hell had one. 

Anyways, I shook my head and tried to stay focused. I reminded myself that this wasn't the right time to be daydreaming and repeated the guard's words in my head, whatever it took to force myself to realise the severity of the situation.

The prince, a pure blood vampire… King Kogane’s son had called for my presence. 

“Am I gonna die?” I asked the man suddenly, my voice cracking with fear and uncertainty. He just lowered his gaze and shook his head. 

“I don't want to give you any false hope, kid. I'm sorry.” And with that, we trudged forward, my face never shifting from that wide-eyed and panicked look.

I guess I’d be meeting my parents sooner than expected, but look on the bright side, I might finally learn where my dashing good looks had come from. I could drill them on all the questions I'd been dying to ask for years, and whether it was heaven or hell, maybe we could finally be family again. 

-

The guard had taken me up several flights of stairs in somber silence. He was kind and gentle during that time, like I was a flightless bird and he was just minding my broken wings. However, the moment we reached the main level where a line of vampires stood to transport me to the prince, he began to tug on the collar around my neck and threaten me whenever I slowed down. 

As much as I wanted to be angry, I couldn't blame him for his sudden harshness. It was clear he was just trying to fit in with the others and save his own skin. But I knew he had a good heart underneath all those muscles, so as he passed me off to the others, I muttered a quiet thanks just for his ears to hear. What made me forget for a second that I was headed straight to my potential execution was the small, minuscule smile he gave me. I knew he was just taking pity on me, but it was a smile, nonetheless.

Of course, the other guards weren't so nice. In fact, I'm pretty sure they held worse of a stigma for humans than I did for vampires. They dragged me through the large and extravagant castle, muttering insults whenever I stalled for more than a second. I didn't mind, though. For people that had been alive for hundreds of years, they sure weren't very creative with their slurs. It was pathetic, really, and that was coming from a kid wearing a dog collar.

We soon approached a massive door made of dark mahogany, carved into intricate and complex patterns with golden handles. Don't ask me how I knew but I could sense that the prince was behind that door. He was sitting atop his throne waiting for me, and I couldn't be sure if I'd ever leave that room once I entered.

At that point, and at about ten other points since I woke up in the dungeons, I just sort of accepted my fate and hung my head. I was outnumbered, weak, and most of all, I was tired. For three years, I had struggled to survive, fighting the same battle everyday and for what? I was living for nothing, and if the prince were to order my execution, then so be it.

For a second, I felt as though I was in control of my own mind, like maybe I wouldn't break down upon seeing the prince this time. I was content with whatever fate I was about to receive, and each outcome I could think of had it's positives and negatives. I was calm, yet my body felt uneasy. My senses were heightened and my hairs were standing on edge; as we stopped just before the entrance, I suddenly felt like I was going to faint.

It was like my primal instincts were kicking into overdrive and my heartbeat drummed in my ears like thunder. It grew unnaturally loud with each passing second, like I'd just ran twelve blocks from the man at the deli after stealing a roasted duck. I wanted to reach up and block the sound somehow but my hands were still bound and I was helpless. It was a strange pain, similar to the one I had felt when I first met the prince, only it seemed to have become stronger. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, and when I opened them again, my vision was speckled with black dots and distorted. I’d never experienced anything quite as intense, and the only feeling I could compare to it was one of starvation. Eventually, the doors were opened, though I could hardly see inside. As the guards pulled me forward, I felt like a drunk man on a tightrope and lost my footing.

They caught me by my elbows and began cursing at me, but I couldn't hear them over the sound of my own pulse. Did I starve long enough in the dungeons to make me feel so ill? I doubted it. My body could easily go a week without food, so it must have been something else, something I couldn't quite explain. 

Again, I wasn't sure how but I could sense the prince's movements without even looking up. With each step, the pain got worse and I was almost certain it was his doing. He was causing these feeling--he must have been--and as I got even closer, it began to feel like my lungs were caving in on themselves. The guards let me go and I stumbled forward, my knees sliding on the marble floor. I looked up to see the hazy outline of the prince sitting atop a golden throne, his legs and arms crossed like a dictator.

I tried to blink away the fog but grainy darkness overtook my sight, and as I continued to stare at his blurred silhouette, he eventually reached up to clutch his chest. The prince let out a stifled cough and seemed to be experiencing some pain of his own, but I couldn't care less in that moment, as the ringing in my ears began to overpower my own thoughts and I couldn’t focus on anything else.

The piercing sound got louder, harsher, up until I could hardly bear it. It crowded my mind space and made my head spin, like someone had a tea kettle brewing in my brain. But just as it neared its peak, as my ears felt as though they might really bleed, the prince's eyes somehow reached mine through the haziness. For a second, everything just sort of froze. For just that moment, we stared at each other as if we were lovers, as if nothing else mattered in the world but us. I forgot about the pain and the guards and even the collar wrapped around my throat, and I could've sworn I'd seen those eyes long before the day I was arrested. His gaze was intense, captivating, and one I couldn't tear away from. Maybe I’d seen him in a painting somewhere, or maybe I’d passed someone on the street who happend to look just like him, but regardless of from where, I knew those eyes.

Eventually, the prince lifted a gloved finger to his temple and looked past me off into the distance. He slowed his breathing and focused, trying to fight off whatever it was he was feeling. That’s when I convinced myself wholeheartedly that the pain I felt must have been his fault, because suddenly, it began to lift like a weight from my shoulders. I gasped harshly, taking in the air my lungs had been deprived from. I could feel blood rush to my fingertips as I unclenched my fists and I collapsed onto all fours. The darkness faded and my sight returned, and like nothing had ever happened, I was back to normal.

Then, I looked up at the prince. Covered in sweat and panting like a dog, I could finally see him in all his true glory. He stared down at me, wearing a daunting glare that I couldn't pull away from. The prince uncrossed his legs, grasped the armrests of his throne and stood, stepping down from his pedi stood and stalking towards me like a wolf. My whole body went into a state of paralysis as he approached me, looking as if he were ready to kill. The clacking of his heels echoed against the golden walls and marble pillars of the throne room, one that again, was strangely familiar to me. I wanted to cower away but it felt like my hands were glued to the floor, and besides, I wouldn't dare to look elsewhere for even a second. His presence was unnerving, like this was all just one big game of chess and he was the only one playing. I was just one of his many pieces, and hell if I would be the first to get in his way.

Soon, the prince stopped before me, slowly bending his knees and crouching down to my level. It was such an overwhelming sensation to be so close to him, like before he was only a mirage and now I could really touch him. I could see every feature on his smooth, pale skin, and again, I found myself enticed by those glossy red eyes. I leaned back, making an attempt to distance myself before I got carried away, but he reached up with a gloved hand and grasped the chain dangling from my collar.

He wasn't rough, just delicately precise as he pulled my face closer to his. Then, he leaned down towards my neck, and as I felt his breath on my skin, my heart stopped beating altogether. 

Was he going to bite me? Now? In front of the guards?

I squeezed my eyes shut and felt my body begin to shake. Did I believe in God? Not exactly. But in that moment, I just wished I knew a bible verse or something that may have been able to protect me.

However, I should have figured by then that the prince was as unpredictable as they come. He didn't bite me. No, instead, he simply inhaled deeply, taking in my scent and staggering away so fast he almost tripped on his own boots. He quickly covered the bottom half of his face with the sleeve of his coat. To my surprise and slight embarrassment, he finally showed some expression as he wrinkled up his nose and furrowed his brows. I knew I hadn't bathed in a while but it couldn't have been that horrible… 

“Roses,” He hissed suddenly, looking me up and down as if I were the monster among us, “Who are you?”

First of all, I sure as hell didn’t smell like roses, and even if I did, I couldn’t think of a logical reason as to why that would even matter. I raised my eyebrows at him and leaned back a bit, begining to think he might have just been crazy. I opened my mouth to question him, but he was quick to interrupt.

“Answer me when I’m asking you questions,” He demanded with an edge to his voice sharper than a blade, “Who are you and who are your parents?” 

The prince approached me again, this time, with some unforeseen aggression that I really wasn’t expecting in that moment. He clutched the chain again and tugged it towards him, giving me no other choice but to stare up at him. My eyes went wide at the sudden outburst and I had to take a moment to process his question. Rather, I had to think of an answer that wouldn’t make me sound as crazy as he did.

“Why? What do you know about my parents?” I decided to just avoid the question all together, because as sad as it was to admit, I had no answer. 

He let out a frustrated groan and threw the chain to the side. Then, he grasped the collar directly and pulled me to my feet. That confused look on my face contorted to one of fear as his eyes burned into mine. His breathing was hot and heavy as he scanned my face, looking for god knows what as if he could read my mind. But all of a sudden, it seemed as though he found what he was looking for and his features softened.

For a split second, he looked like curious puppy as he tilted his head and examined me closely. His eyebrows knitted slightly and he parted his lips to speak, but no words came out. He was being careful, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he intended to say.

“Ebony and Christopher…” He uttered after a long moment of silence, “They’re your parents, Lance. Don’t you remember anything?” 

His voice was fragile, cautious and cracking with heartache. I was caught off guard, so beyond lost that I could hardly comprehend the weight of his words. I just furrowed my brows and let my mouth hang open, hoping to god I hadn’t heard him right. Had my parents really left behind such a lasting legacy? How could the prince have possibly known who I was, or who they were, for that matter? Nothing was adding up. Since the moment we’d met, he’d been sending mixed signals that I couldn’t even begin to decipher. There were too many things I didn’t know, and as much as I liked to pretend it didn’t bother me, I was starting to go crazy at the thought of what my life was like before I lost my mind. The prince knew something, he must have, and I wasn’t sure I could go much longer without knowing the truth.

“What’s going on? How did you…?” I stuttered out, pleading with him to elaborate on the information he had so poorly presented. I needed more, something to calm the overload of questions pouring into my head. His bipolar attitude wasn't helping either, because as soon as that sympathetic look had appeared, it was gone again and replaced with a scowl.

I didn't get an answer. Honestly, I doubted I ever would, because without another word or even a passing glance, the prince stormed out of the room and never looked back. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around. I was in complete and utter shock, and I didn’t move again until the guards approached me from behind. 

I’d forgotten they were even there, but instead of grabbing my chain and yanking me back to the dungeons like I’d expected, I felt a hand placed gently on my shoulder. I spun around, only to be greeted by the somber faces of the very guards that had insulted me and dragged me like a dog to the prince. Though, they wore different expressions than before, ones of guilt and what almost looked to be remorse.

At that point, I didn’t know half of what was going on. Everything seemed so wrong, but in a sense, I felt like I deserved their respect for whatever reason. I just sort of rolled with it, allowing them to lead me back to where we’d come from. I followed them closely, confused as to why they’d changed their attitudes but feeling like deep down, maybe I already knew. But I had to give myself time to think and put the pieces together, then maybe something would eventually come to me. 

Well, while that day hadn’t been the best, it seemed as though my guardian angel wanted to give me a head start on the whole self-discovery thing. I got my wish in partial, because something did indeed come to me, just not in the form I would have ever expected.

On the way out of the throne room, we passed a large, blue vase that sat by the door. For whatever reason, the odd looking decoration caught my attention. The longer I stared at it, the more little details I began to notice, like how there were cracks along the entire body that resembled spiderwebs, and that the whole vase was held together poorly with glue, almost as if a child had put it together.

Then, I began to hear something off in the distance. It sounded like the laughter of young boys, and it soon dawned on me that the sound was coming from within the very room I stood in. It got louder and louder until it felt like it was coming from directly beside me. But there was nothing there, not physically, anyways. I feared for a second that it might have been ghosts or demons, but something in the back of my mind told that it wasn’t. It wasn’t something I should have been afraid of, as the sound was almost inviting. Instinctively, I closed my eyes as this warm feeling washed over me and my imagination started piecing together faded images in my head. 

Suddenly, like a curtain being drawn at the beginning of a play, the guards slowly disappeared, fading away like magic as a new scene began. I saw the vase, unbroken, and heard the laughter of two little boys. They were running, playing with toy swords and shouting child-like insults like nothing else mattered. As they ran carelessly in the throneroom, the one with shaggy, brown hair bumped into the vase and knocked it to the ground. It shattered on the floor, resulting in a gasp from the boy with longer, jet black hair. There was more laughter and light-hearted bickering between them following that, then came the disembodied scolding from who I presumed was a father to one of the boys. 

I wondered if this could have possibly been a memory from the past, but then again, there was a good chance it was just the prince’s magic playing tricks on me. First it was unexplainable pain, and now I was having visions? It was all so much to take in in such a short period of time. How was I to handle it all when mere days ago I was back in my village flirting with Miss Holt?

However, the vision didn’t last much longer. Soon, the curtain closed and the scene faded back to reality. The little boys and the broken vase disappeared, and I was pretty certain at that point who those boys had been. Maybe I was wrong, but it sure as hell looked a lot like the prince and I. It sounded crazy, and even I wasn’t a hundred percent on board with the idea, but maybe he’d been involved in my past somehow. That would explain his weirdness around me, to say the very least.

While my brain was too fried to think about it in too much detail, I still noticed that something wasn't quite right. As you would, I expected to wake up where the vision had begun, but as I peeled my eyes open, I felt a foreign fabric wrapped around my body and sunlight in my eyes.

I definitely wasn’t in the throne room anymore. Instead, I was now lying down in a king sized bed wearing silk pajamas. My hair was damp, having just recently been washed, and I smelled like the perfume shop across the street from Miss Holt’s shop. Of course, my first instinct was to panic, and I shot up so fast I almost passed back out again.

If you've ever woken up in a strange place after getting drunk off your ass, then you can probably imagine how I felt in that moment. I had no recollection as to how I got to wherever the hell I was, and it was pretty clear someone had taken care of me in my sleep. I was beginning to suspect that maybe I was dead, but if this really was heaven, then where were all the beautiful angels? And the red wine? Nope, instead, I was just bombarded with the sound of song birds in coitice from outside the window. 

As I began to more closely inspect my surroundings, I realised I was in a bedroom, well decorated with extravagant furniture. The bed sheets looked expensive, and above me, a thin, blue veil hung from the bedposts. It looked like something straight out of a fairy tale, like Cinderella or Rapunzel, or some strange combination of both.

I stood from the bed and walked towards the open window. The cool, crisp air felt amazing, and I almost forgot or a second where I was. But as I peered down from it, I could see the vampire city and the Forest of Ash, and there I was at the center of it all, a prisoner in King Kogane’s castle.

A prisoner wearing silk pajamas, I noted, in a room nicer than any place I had ever slept in before. Hell, I hadn't slept in a bed since I lost my memory, which made me question again why I was even there to begin with. Why exactly was I taken from the dungeons, and while I was on the topic, how did the prince know my name? My parents’ names? Why was the castle so damn familiar, and why had that stupid vase triggered a vision that landed me in yet another technical coma? 

While I had my speculations, I couldn't even begin to answer all those questions on my own, so, I made it a goal to find out. And how would I do that? Well, It seemed my only option was to ask the prince himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! This is technically two chapters crammed into one, so I hope it wasn't too long.. I'm happily surprised at the amount of hits this got within a week, so thank you for your interest! I'll be updating again next Sunday at the very least, so stay tuned :) Thanks a bunch!


	3. The Blue Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Lance is exploring his new surroundings, he stumbles upon clues to his past and unlocks yet another cryptic vision, but at his most vulnerable state, he meets a young girl who calls herself the messenger bird of the castle. Will this reserved maid become a friend to help him along his journey, or will she prove to hold the same stigma as others in the city of vampires?

The sunlight and fresh air had given me a false sense of hope, I’ll admit. As I’d come to find out, the bedroom door was bolted shut and had more locks on it than even my dungeon cell. I suppose this was more of a Rapunzel story than anything else. A beautiful prince, stored away in a tower where no one could see his gorgeousness… The only difference was that I was far from royal, rather a sickly prisoner who was beginning his long and tedious descent into insanity.

Regardless, they'd have to feed me eventually, right? Then the door would be opened, and I’d leap at the chance to escape and find my rugged and dark haired captor. It was simple, in theory, but I wasn’t stupid. It was a useless idea and if I really wanted to get out of there, I needed a foolproof plan that wouldn’t get me killed on the spot. Again, wanting a plan was easy, but making one? Not so much.

In the meantime, I began to take note of the strange things held within my room. At first glance, it seemed pretty basic for a wealthy vampire’s guest suite (using the term ‘guest’ very lightly), but there were details that stuck out to me in a peculiar fashion. There were raggedy old books lying around, but they weren't expensive antiques that a collector would buy simply for display. They were well read, with folded edges and note cards poking out, and I was glad to see that those books had lived more useful lives than my own. On the dresser sat simplistic makeup and a hair brush, all looking like something even Miss Holt would be able to afford. There were so many things that seemed odd to me, especially the dark, wooden crib in the corner and the stained, dusty, blue blanket within it. I hadn’t noticed it before, not when there had been so much going on in my mind, but I could see clearer then and couldn’t help but wonder what sort of child was raised in that room.

But just as my eyes really settled upon the crib, that same, goddamned feeling came back. First it was the pounding heartbeat, then the blurred, and finally, my legs began to shake beneath me.

I was getting used to it at that point, and either the prince was near, which was unlikely, or I was going to have another vision like when I’d seen the vase. I assumed it was the latter, because I then began to feel the urge to touch the crib, to be near it in any way possible. So, whilst rubbing my temples in an attempt to stay conscious, I began to stagger towards old piece of furniture. My heart fluttered in my chest with every step, excited to think that this might bring me closer to unlocking the truth. I just wasn’t sure how it worked, the visions, I mean, and why certain objects triggered them so easily.

However, as I leaned down over it, I no longer questioned why it had been the crib I was drawn to. I saw something lying inside that I knew for a fact I'd seen before. Of all things, it was a teddy bear. 

The stuffed animal was blue, a faded, sky blue with black buttons for eyes and tiny little arms that I wanted to reach out and hug. Then, just like before, a black shadow crept over my vision and I heard another sound in the distance. There were voices, the sweet sound of a baby crying and a woman singing to it. The woman was a mother, I could just tell by the sound of her song, and her voice was so utterly beautiful that I wanted to break down in tears.

And I did, because instinctively, I knew with all my heart that that voice belonged to my mother. And the baby? Well, I had a good guess as to who it was.

The blackness gave way to a vision of the young child, of me, just as I was set down into the crib by a pair of arms. In my own tiny hands was that bear, and suddenly, I remembered it's name.

“Blue.” I muttered through a quivering lip as the image began to fade back to nothing, and I wished so desperately that I could hold out a bit longer to catch a glimpse of my mother's face. But no, it was gone like a rose petal in the wind, just a glimpse of beauty and heartbreak before it disappeared forever. Whether it was a memory or just my own mind toying with me, I didn't know. But I had come to terms with the fact that I might never out, and I was content with the short moment that I'd seen at least a facade of my mother.

I didn't faint again, rather staggered backwards onto my bed, collapsing into a heap as I regulated my breathing again. I could see straight, and I no longer felt dizzy, but my heart felt as though it was physically aching. A blood clot, maybe? Or a heart attack? Or maybe just a broken heart, which was the most realistic reason as to why I felt like vomiting.

Yeah, that was probably it. I was just sad. I was confused, lost, a little angry and most of all, I was scared. I was scared of who my parents might have been, where I had grown up, and who I really was.

I'd never been in the castle before. My parents were rebels, and they sure as hell wouldn't have been guests of the king. My mother had abandoned me, and at no point had she cared about me--

Right? 

Then again, I didn't know shit about my childhood. I had never really sat down and thought about it, about my parents or how I ended up on the streets. I never even questioned the fact that I couldn't remember what the house I grew up in looked like, or if I even grew up in a house to begin with.

I was always too busy trying to survive. When you're starving, that's all you ever think about, when you'll eat next and how long you can go before your brain starts consuming itself and what not. That's all that's ever on your mind.

I never questioned anything, not even where that letter in my pocket had come from. It was what I based everything on, my whole life from when I first woke up in that alley to now, and for all I knew, it could have been written by a sod on the street who just wanted to fuck with me.

I was panicking, and it felt as though everything was collapsing around me. Could I even trust myself? Could I trust these visions as fact or were they just the long term effects of constantly being on the brink of death? It irked me, but I couldn't just shake the thoughts away like before. I was living in a hellish nightmare, one I couldn't wake from unless I followed in my parents’ footsteps and truly threw it all away. 

That moment was one of the first times I'd even really considered ending it all myself. I'd thought about it, sure, but only when I'd drunk myself into a fit of depression. This time, I wasn't drunk, just hurting. I'd struggled my fair share and God, was I tired. I was so weak, so lost, so done. Maybe it would prove something to the prince, that I was the only one in control of my life. Maybe I'd meet my parents and the face belonging to that beautiful voice, and bond over our unfortunate encounters with royalty, and maybe I'd forgive them, and like I'd dreamt of often when I felt like death was breathing in my ear, maybe we could be a real family again. 

I lifted my arms and stared for a moment at the veins on my tiny wrists, blue and prominent under my skin. I thought about how easy it would be to just do it, to go to sleep and never wake up again, to just throw in the towel and put an end to this cruel cycle. I was a peasant, after all. If not now, I'd just die in a prison cell before thirty, so why drag it out when I'd never truly be anything to society? But then, in the midst of my momentary fit of hopelessness, my guardian angel decided to pay me a little visit, taking the unusual shape of a young maid.

The door opened to reveal me laying in bed with my feet dangling off the edge, my arms above my head, my chest heaving and tears streaming down my face. To be fair, what would you do if you suddenly realised you were spiraling into insanity and your whole life was a lie? Not to mention, you could hardly decipher dreams from reality and half of your life may or may not have taken place in a castle?

Yeah, I had every right to freak out.

“Are you alright, Sir?”

I shot up, suddenly face to face with a short, young girl with wide eyes and thick eyebrows. She was clearly a human, upon closer inspection, and pretty in a childish sort of way. She had on a simplistic gown that suited her well with a tray in her skinny arms, my maid in shining armor, if you will.

Though, I looked like a mess, and despite my silk pajamas, I felt like it was obvious I didn't belong amongst people like her. I was shaking like a dog, my eyes were swollen and there were still tears on my cheeks. I was vulnerable, and while I somewhat expected her to pity me, she hardly even allowed us to make eye contact like she was the one that was afraid.

“I'm… I'm fine.” I replied half heartedly and rubbed my palms roughly against my face, trying to somehow wipe off my anxiety and failing miserably. 

“Right, of course.” She didn't deny what I had said though it was obviously a lie, then handed me the tray she had walked in with, adding a polite, “Here. You should get your strength up.”

I smiled weakly and took it in my hands, setting it on my lap as I enjoyed the aroma that radiated from the meal. It was some sort of soup with what looked to be duck and a roll of bread. It was warm, and reminded me of something Miss Holt would cook for me on the holidays. Honestly, I really did miss her, and I don't think I'd ever forgive myself for allowing her husband's jacket to be ruined. 

After a moment of reflection, I lifted one of the three forks on my plate and pierced a slice of the meat. God, it had been so long since I ate something like that. It was great, and not just because the last meat I had was stolen and probably laced with something.

“This is really good.” I told the girl who then curtsied sheepishly, though she reminded me a bit of a puppet on a string, like it was more of an obligation than a formality.

“I'll send your regards to the chef.” She smiled, and again, it was so strangely artificial. It was clear then that she was nervous, like one wrong move and I'd kill her or something. 

Then it hit me. She must have thought I was a vampire or something, I mean, how often were humans allowed to stay in the castle as guests? 

After that realization, I wanted to clarify everything so she didn't think for a second that I was one of them. Even more, I wanted her to know that I was a peasant, and basically the furthest from royalty you could get.

“You know I'm not a vampire, right? I'm human, just like you.” 

With that, she let out a sigh of relief and slumped her shoulders a bit, muttering something under her breath like, ‘Oh, thank God.’

I smiled as she stared up at me with a renewed sense of friendliness. The change was immediate and very obvious, and I supposed uneasiness towards vampires was kind of a running theme in that place.

“If you don't mind me saying, I was really hoping you were human considering I'll be your handmaiden for the time being.” She said and adjusted the headband sitting atop her fluffy locks, continuing to watch me as I ate. Perhaps I wasn't trusted and this was just protical as to not leave me alone with a fork. I had no idea, but all in all, it was quite the strange arrangement.

How ludicrous was it that a human peasant had a personal maid? Man, life sure had a funny way of making me question my sanity.

“So, do you have any idea why I'm here?” I asked after taking a spoonful of soup, which, I'd figured was beef broth and cabbage. Wouldn't have been my first choice but then again, who was I to complain?

“I'm relatively new, so I couldn't tell you. But, I have heard some of the older maids talking about you.” She stated casually. By then, she was lounging in a chair by the window, fully adjusted to me and talking like we were your average teenage besties. While we were both beyond far from normal, it was nice to pretend for a night.

“What about me?” I piped up, setting aside the tray and scooting to the very edge of the bed.

“They said that they were glad you're back and things like that. Miss Marbury almost started crying when I mentioned you were staying here.” She replied, then suddenly looked to me with a raised eyebrow, “That leaves me to wonder… Who exactly are you?”

Was it sad that I couldn't answer a question as simple as that? I just shook my head and shrugged with this pathetic look on my sunken face.

“What's wrong?” She asked and stood from her chair. She approached me cautiously and stood in front of my feet, then leaned down with a puzzled look on her face.

“It's funny. I've never even been outside of my village before, let alone the castle.” I let out a stifled laugh, though it was more out of frustration than anything else, “I sound crazy, huh? It's just, I don't remember ever being here before and yet… I don't know, maybe I do?”

She answered in silence, which was completely understandable. I mean, how was she supposed to react to a stranger's delusions? I really needed to keep my mouth shut before I was sent to a damn mental asylum.

“Well, regardless, you're clearly important to the royal family so count your blessings. Most guys like you are sold before they've even made it to the dungeons.” She spoke up after a moment and didn't seem to mind my craziness, rather rolled her eyes at my dramatic rambling.

“Guys like me?” I questioned, peeking my head up as she reached for the tray.

“Pretty boys.” She clarified as she looked me up and down with narrow eyes. 

I furrowed my brows and thought about that for a moment. It was weird to be acknowledged as a pretty boy; I'd always just been a dirty street rat, underweight and too cocky for my own good. I was glad she thought otherwise, but maybe it was just the silk pajamas talking.

The girl turned around to leave, but I stopped her before she had a chance to slip out. While I was sure most of those she had served in the past didn't pay much mind to their subjects or servants, she was far more than that to me. She was a person, plain and simple.

“Wait, Miss. If you don't mind me asking, may I have your name?”

“Katie, but you can call me Pidge. I'm kind of the messenger bird around the castle.” She beamed as she looked over her shoulder one last time. Her smile was one of those contagious ones. Though, I saw smiles so rarely that they were all hard not to return.

“Nice to meet you, Pidge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, oh boy, it's the third chapter and I'm already falling behind :)) But to be fair, I just started school and I'm still adjusting, so please be a little patient. I have the next few chapters written, so after some editing I'll have them posted soon. Thanks for reading! (Ps I edited this one on my phone so please excuse inaccuracies)


	4. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Pidge and Shiro, Lance makes his great escape in order to find the prince and demand the answers he feels he deserves. Will the prince comply? Or will Lance end up back at square one with brand new puncture wounds in his neck?

Four days had passed, each seeming longer and more torturous than the last. I watched the sun from my window, rising and falling each morning and night. It had become sort of like a friend, but personally, I liked the moon better.

The moon was quieter. It didn't really do much in terms of light, but I could still appreciate when it came around. It was pretty and delicate like a ghost, not quite there completely but just enough so that you could learn to love it. I'd started reading the books lying around my room, as well. With nothing else to do and the very real possibility of dying of boredom, I'd fallen for poetry the same way I fell for the symbolism held within the stars.

“Knock, knock.” The door creaked open, though I didn't have to look up to know who it was.

Pidge had been taking care of me everyday since I arrived. She came to me three times a day, fed me, gave me new clothes and picked up my room a bit. She was one of the few people that held the key to my door, but I'd never ask her to risk her life helping me escape. In fact, escaping wasn't even my main priority. My goal was to find the prince and demand an explanation as to why I was there, because over the few days I'd been locked away, I'd learned some things about myself and the past that just didn't quite fit together like it should have.

“Pidge?” I called from the chair by the window as I stared down at the city surrounding the castle. Then, I glanced up at the moon again, because it was always there, one of life's few constants.

Being stuck in the same room for so long does things to your head, and I wondered if I could reach that beautiful crescent shape if I jumped high enough. If I crawled from the window and leap with all the strength in my body, would I land somewhere amongst the stars?

“Yeah?” She answered eventually after setting my dinner onto the table where my last meal sat untouched.

It was ironic that I of all people didn't feel like eating. God, my old self would sock me in the face if he saw me turn down food. But after the twelfth time, soup, duck and bread got really old.

“I haven't left this room in three days...” My voice was a bit slurred as I spoke and it showed how tired I was. Not really physically, but mentally.

Every night I had dreams, those weird ones that seemed almost like memories from the past. Not only that, but those same dreams would happen while I was awake, just like it had with the crib and vase. I couldn’t escape them. I knew they were only hallucinations, but they felt so damn real. 

Needless to say, I was going a bit crazy. 

“Mhm?” She replied half heartedly from the bed as she remade it for the second time that day. I suppose she was just keeping herself busy, just like I was at that point. 

“I keep having those dreams.” I murmured, though I had no real intention in speaking.

“Yes, Lance, I know.” She replied. Her words were dragged out and over enunciated like she was speaking to a child. I looked up at her with pouty lips and furrowed brows, to which she returned with a hand on her hip and a cocked eyebrow.

I just sighed and looked away, resting my chin on the stone of the window sill and closing my eyes completely.

“I just… I want answers. I'm going crazy locked away in here and I need to hear from him.” I was almost talking to myself at that point, just making sure I still knew how to communicate after hours upon hours of isolation. 

I said those things to her everyday, the same, sulky, definitely annoying complaints and I could see that she was as irritated as I was with the whole situation. 

“The prince, you mean?” She clarified and made her way from the bed.

Pidge shooed my head away from the window, which was open, mind you, and jumped up to sit within it. I flinched and reached up to grab her, but the look on her face made it clear she could handle herself just fine. Still, I didn't like that her back was facing a five hundred foot drop.

“Yes, the prince. And I was wondering… Could you maybe deliver a message to him for me? Since, you know, you're the messenger bird of the castle?” I used her own nickname against her and gave her a pair of obnoxiously large puppy dog eyes. I knew the answer already, though. There was no way in hell she'd agree and asking was pointless, but to be fair, she was my only connection to the outside world and I had to at least give it a shot. 

“Sorry, but you're going to have to figure that one out on your own.” I wasn't shocked when she replied with no hesitation whatsoever. However, she then looked down with a sympathetic smile on her pinchable cheeks that reminded me a whole lot of Miss Holt. “You know I can't, Lance, I'm sorry.”

I smiled too and muttered an almost silent, ‘I know,’ but immediately after, Pidge jumped back off the window sill and stood before me. Her face was now beaming with some suspicious look and I couldn't help but get nervous.

“But…” She began, “Brace yourself, Lance, because I may be able to get you out of here.” 

With that declaration, I shot to my feet and grabbed her shoulders a bit too suddenly, shaking her with a massive smile on my face that mirrored hers. 

“Wait, what? Really?” I asked, and she just laughed and nodded her head.

“It's been nice to have another non-vampire around here, but I just got word from a friend of mine that the guard rotation will be shifting soon. If you want, he can unlock your door and help you find the prince, but keep in mind,” All seriousness returned and she reached up to grip my arms, reminding me that this wasn't a game of hide and seek we were playing, “If anything goes wrong, I'm not certain you'll live.”

“What's the plan?” I didn't skip a beat and stared back at her as intensely as I could manage. I was willing to risk it, because another night of waking up covered in sweat and tears would have killed me.

“Tomorrow night at around this time, a vampire named Shirogane will come to your room dressed in a guard's uniform. Don't expect him to act kind, just trust him to do what's best for the both of you. He knows the prince’s schedule well and will show you to him. From there, you're free to do whatever you want as long as you don't get caught, but I suggest being back before midnight.”

I nodded and swallowed the saliva that was building up in my mouth. She seemed to have everything planned out and I really felt hopeful about seeing the prince, that is, if all went well.

“But Lance, if I were you,” she paused and bit her lip, “I'd forget about the prince and take this chance to leave.”

I lowered my gaze and thought hard and long about it. Yes, I should've just left. If everything went according to plan, I could easily slip out of the castle with the help of this Shirogane guy Pidge seemed to trust so much. But then I'd have to find my way through the Vampire city with a warrant out for my arrest. Besides, Pidge said it herself; I was a pretty boy, and pretty boys didn't last long. Even if I did survive, there was then the Forest of Ash that housed werewolves and demons with half the sympathy a vampire had. I'd have to trek through it on my own, and somehow find my way back to my village without being killed. Was it worth it? To go back to starving on the streets, in constant fear that I'd be sent back to the castle and executed?

And what would happen if I really did find the Prince? Would he even answer my questions? There was a chance he'd kill me on the spot for leaving my room, but then again, he was the one that saved me from the dungeons in the first place. Like Pidge had said, I was special in some way or another, but did that mean I was immune to the cruelty of the royal family? 

I doubted it, and what was to come after our interactions? He'd just send me back my room or the dungeons and the cycle would repeat itself. Was it worth it to find out how he knew my parents, or rather, how he knew me? Did I really need to know where these visions were coming from or if my lack of memory was somehow because of the castle? Did I really need to know why I felt like my lungs were going to collapse in on themselves every time I saw him?

The answer was yes, I did need to know, even if it killed me.

“I can't leave until I know why I'm here, Pidge. You have to understand.” I stepped back and looked down at my feet as I shifted nervously. It was overwhelming, and I was fighting back the urge to panic or cry or maybe both, but Pidge being Pidge was quick to save me from a potential break down and patted me hard on the shoulder.

“You're a crazy bastard, Lance, but hey, if you want to rondevu with the prince then be my guest. Just be careful, because this is some serious treason.” 

I ignored that last part and focused on her hilariously unladylike choice of words, not that I minded, and just laughed. There was no punchline yet we both ended up doubled over with tears brimming the corners of our eyes. It was stupid and a bit childish, but we were just trying to kill the tension that was lingering in the air and ignore the harsh reality of what I'd just agreed to. 

But that didn't change the fact that I had agreed, and that my life as I'd known it before might be changed forever. I didn't want to think about it too much, because if I did, there was a chance I'd change my mind. Pidge left soon after and I forced myself to eat, but as I sat down to pick at the same meal I'd been served for the past four days, I found that it was different this time. To my pleasant surprise, it wasn't beef and cabbage soup. It was French Onion soup with mozzarella and freshly cut chives on top, and instead of bread and duck, there was a cinnamon roll and seasoned chicken that looked at least a million times better.

Of course, I had to question why there was such an extravagant change in the menu, but then I noticed a scrap of paper folded under the plate.

I picked it up and read it aloud, smiling like a little kid on Christmas. For whatever reason, the meal gave me this sense of hope, like tomorrow night would be just fine now that I had it. It gave me an uplifting sense of happiness, and the note simply exemplified that.

“Half the Vampires here don't even eat real food, so I didn't really know I was cooking for anyone until now. That being said, Pidge told me what you said about my cooking and it was a nice surprise to hear a genuine compliment. Hope you're okay with me testing my culinary capacities, and good luck tomorrow. Signed, your friendly castle chef.”

I couldn't help but wonder what else Pidge had told the strangers around the castle; she was the messenger bird, after all. But I didn't mind, because I could trust anyone who went by the title of ‘friendly chef’.

-

The sun set in the evening sky and the moon finally appeared after what felt like the longest day of my life. I had been preparing myself for the moment Shirogane would arrive for hours, though it was more of a mental preparation than anything else. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but Pidge had assured me earlier that day that he would do his best to protect me. Did I believe her? Of course, but I still found it daunting to put my life in the hands of a stranger. A vampire stranger, at that.

Well, whether or not I was ready, it wasn't long before there came a knock on the door. The man on the other side soon entered, and with him came this cool, unholy presence that I couldn't help but find exciting. I glanced up to face this new character in the ridiculous story that was becoming my life, however, he wasn't exactly the forgettable side character I had expected him to be. No, instead, I immediately recognised him as the scarfaced, one-armed hottie from the dungeons, the one who had shown me that not all vampires were like the prince and his guards. 

“Ah, so he lives.” Shirogane beamed as he shut the door behind him, and what was most concerning, locked it. Still, I smiled up at him, but it didn't last when I noticed the same collar in his hand that I'd worn on my first day in the castle. He saw me staring and looked away sheepishly, toying with it as if it would dull its effect.

“Sorry, kid, but we have to make it seem like you're a prisoner. Don't want to get caught, do we?” He tossed it over to me and I latched it around my neck in a shameful display of desperation. I understood that it was necessary in order for me to blend in, but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it. 

“I thought you were a dungeon guard. How did you manage to get up here?” I questioned, and he explained that their positions rotated every month, and as a royal guard, he was expected to be flexible.

“Shirogane, was it? Thank you for doing this. I can't imagine how risky it is.” I replied as he pulled out a folded pile of papers from his back pocket. 

He didn't look up from them as he muttered something along the lines of, ‘A friend of Pidge is a friend of mine.’ He then brought the papers over to me, displaying an interior map of the castle. From there, he rambled on about our plan, and more importantly, where the prince was at this time of day and how to find him. It turned out that the prince had a few tendencies I'd expect of a princess, and he apparently enjoyed spending time in the castle gardens of all places, which was rather convenient for Shirogane and I.

“Got it, kid? Remember, be back before midnight and if you're caught, lie your way out of it. Never, ever run.” He reminded me, and of course, my nosey self had to know why these rules were in place to begin with. Maybe it showed how young and inexperienced I was, but if I was risking my life, I felt like I should have at least been prepared.

“What exactly happens if I'm out past midnight? And what happens if I run?” I inquired with a curiously frightful look on my face.

“Lance, right? Look, vampires need blood to maintain their energy, and I am no exception. The thing is, we're only allowed to feed during weekly gatherings called called Blood Balls. There's one held at midnight tonight, and if you're out of your room while it's happening, I guarantee you won't make it out without some puncture wounds. And as for the running thing, vampires are like wild animals. They're dumb and not hard to trick, but if you trigger their instincts, you're done for.” 

I blinked, then gulped, then questioned again why I chose to put myself in such a risky situation. But I reminded the more finicky part of my brain that I was doing it for answers and tried to swallow the fear that was rising in my throat like bile. It was worth it, I could do it, and I would not only survive, but truly thrive. 

“I see.” I breathed out slowly, uncertain and shaky but trying so hard to stay calm. The moment I relaxed a bit, Shirogane slapped my back hard and gave me a thumbs up. He was pretty damn good at changing the mood, and with him behind me, I felt at least a little bit better.

“I'll be waiting here at twelve on the dot to let you back in your room, but I can't wait forever so don't be late. Oh, and by the way, you can call me Shiro.” 

With that, he cuffed me, then took me by my chain and lead me from the room. The second we were in the hall, I watched his face contort from a beaming smile to a deep scowl. I reminded myself it was all just an act to protect us, but still, it was a pretty convincing act.

Despite playing the part of a prisoner within its very walls, I couldn't help but fawn at the architecture of the castle. Maybe it was just because I'd been locked in the same room for almost a week, but if it weren't for the vampires guarding almost every other door, I would have taken far more time to look up from my feet.

We walked for about ten minutes and eventually arrived in a corridor on the main level with windows lining the wall. The moonlight was strong, and for once, it seemed almost brighter than the sun. It lit the hall with a blueish white light and showed off the beauty of the garden beside us. Shiro and I stood there, staring at each other for what might have literally been the last time as he took off my collar and cuffs.

“Remember where to go?” He asked, a guilty look in his eyes for leading me there in the first place. There was no one else besides us, and his voice resonated deep within me. He was actually worried, and earlier, I had sensed the same thing from Pidge. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they almost cared about me.

I nodded weakly and sensing my fear, Shiro placed a strong, almost fatherly hand on my shoulder. 

“You don't have to do this, Lance.” He reminded me.

“Yes, I do.” I kept my face steady and bit my lip to hide how much it was quivering. I was trying to reassure him that I'd be fine, but more than anything, I was trying to reassure myself. 

With that, he wished me luck one last time and turned, walking away and leaving me all alone to find my way to the prince. For a second, I wanted to reach out to him, ask him to come back and help me, but I had been alone for years and now was no exception. I had to do this, and I had to do it myself.

So, I took a deep breath and turned on my heel, making my way to the end of the corridor where a massive glass door waited. I then pushed it open with shaking hands and welcomed to cool, night air. It was refreshing, but considering there wasn't much fat on my body to keep me warm, the coolness soon got very old.

Pidge had given me a change of clothes so I wasn't wearing my pajamas anymore, but I still wished I had Miss Holt’s jacket. That was another thing I'd ask the Prince about; I wanted to know what happened to it after I was knocked unconscious by his guards. Maybe he'd return it, or maybe he'd snap my neck in two. It was really a nerve wracking gamble that I shouldn't have been so comfortable taking.

Regardless, the garden was even prettier than the inside of the castle and I could no longer judge the prince for spending his nights there. My only issue was the size of it, and by that I meant it was really fucking massive. How the hell was I supposed to locate a single vampire in such a huge place? There were towering maze hedges and water fountains the size of the clock tower on the street I used to live on, and the surrounding garden smelled just like the flower shop next to it. But standing there and taking it all in, I began to realize how small and miniscule I really was in the world. How had I gone from that tiny little village to this? It was crazy, but nonetheless, I trudged forward.

The ground was lined with flagstone and bricks, and my borrowed shoes echoed rather loudly against them. I hoped no one heard me, as it had come to my knowledge that the prince was the only one allowed in the garden at night, so I had every reason to be concerned. Was it true that vampires had super hearing? If so, I bet he could hear my breathing from a mile away considering how fast my heart was racing.

When Shiro and I had parted, it was roughly ten o’clock, which meant I had two hours to find the prince, ask at least a hundred questions and then get back to my room before I died. Easy peasy. 

Though, finding him was proving to be a challenge. I had been walking for twenty minutes, searching in every corner and crevasse I came across, but there was no sign of him. That is until I decided to rest for a bit and propped myself up against a brass statue of an angel. Just as I leaned my head back, it suddenly felt like I was falling and my heart jumped to my throat. My eyes shot open and I looked around in a panic. There was nothing there that I could see, but I knew that he must have been near. I began to feel that chest strain I felt whenever I was around him. I was frozen in place as my breathing began to accelerate, and I just knew.

It was the feeling of walking in the dark with the agonizing knowledge that something was lurking there, just waiting for it to emerge in painstaking anticipation. He was close, I could feel it, but the sensation was hard to explain. It was like we were drawn together, but at the same time, repelled. My chest ached and my head throbbed, but I still ached to see those captivating eyes of his.

I pulled myself from the statue and staggered forwards. I followed that feeling blindly, and the closer I got, the faster my heart was beating. 

I made my way through a maze of bushes that were taller than I was, occasionally leaning on them for support. I pinched my eyes shut, and when I opened them, there were black spots in my vision that made everything hazy and distorted. 

'God, where the hell are you?' I thought to myself out of frustration.

Eventually, I emerged from the maze, finding myself in a clearing with a massive fountain in the center, dark red roses everywhere and a marble pathway. Then, something new happened, something bizarre that I couldn't exactly blame on hunger pains or hallucinations.

'I'm here.'

His voice rang out in my ears, amplified, so loud that I couldn't hear my own thoughts. No, his words were my thoughts. He was in my head, somehow communicating with me through this eerie, disembodied voice.

It was unexpected, to say the very least, and my initial reaction was sheer panic. I covered my ears and gasped like all the air was sucked from my lungs, then stumbled onto my knees and tucked my head between them.

I couldn't fathom how it was possible, but we had communicated, only for a moment, through this connection in our minds like we shared a brain. It was unbelievable, and as I'd come to find out, the very reason I was in the castle to begin with. Something was happening to me, and I knew the prince had something to do with it. Scratch that, he had everything to do with it, and again, I heard his voice.

'Open your eyes, Lance.'

My head shot up and in all his dark, satin glory, the prince’s silhouette stood against the light of the moon. The fountain was his backdrop, and the roses seemed to embody everything he was.

Beautiful, elegant, but only if you were willing to bare the thorns. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy an extra chapter this week, thanks so much for all the lovely comments ^^


	5. His Moonlit Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has the rare and dangerous oppurtunity to finally confront the secretive prince, but while he expects outrage, he is instead faced with heartbreaking grief and frustration. Lance is forced to overcome his own inner termoil in order to defuse the bomb that is Prince Kogane, or else face the jaws of a hungry wolf.

Everything froze in place; the wind, the water in the fountain behind him, and even my own heartbeat stalled in my chest. 

I was in awe as I stared up at him. Slowly, the pressure in my head started to fade and I could see straight again. My hearing began to normalize from that dreamlike wistfulness to something more grounded in reality. Though, this reality was becoming more and more unbelievable as time went on. It was a reality in which I kneeled before the prince, a reality in which I was probably going to die soon, and a reality in which I questioned the rightfulness of own name. But I decided that it was the only reality in which I could ever learn the truth, and if that were the case, I was willing to accept it. 

“Why…?” I breathed out, hesitantly standing from my place on the ground to meet him eye to eye. There was a shadow cast across his face, but I could still feel the way he looked at me. I could smell him and taste the air he breathed, yet I couldn't believe he was really there. I had the urge to be closer, to feel the fabric of his clothes and the softness of his face, to feel the heat of his tongue and the point of his fangs. Those dangerous thoughts were making me weak, and the only thing I feared in that moment was my own susceptibility. I feared I would fall for him, fall for a monster I knew nothing about.

“Why me?” I asked again, this time making some significant attempt to stand my ground. I couldn't let him see through me, because if he knew half of what I was thinking, there was no doubt in my mind he would take full advantage of it.

However, to my utter shock and distaste, I was merely met with a scoff. He laughed at me like I was a joke, like my words held no relevance because of my status compared to him. While I suppose it was justifiable, it didn't make me want to punch him any less. 

“What, are you actually an idiot?” He sneered with this self righteous look on his face. He hadn't seemed so annoying before that moment but he was seriously starting to piss me off. Still, I reminded myself of why I was in that situation to begin with, and knowing my tendency to make matters worse by running my mouth, I took a deep breath and did everything I could to stay calm.

“Maybe I am, but I still need answers. Just please, tell me why I'm here.” I begged him, contemplating dropping to my knees but knowing damn well I could never will myself to do that intentionally. 

“You're here because you snuck out. Come on, street rat, that one's just common sense.”

I found it odd that he actually had a sense of humor, even if it was a shitty one. Well, usually I was all for a little banter, but not then. Not with the prince, and not while time was of the essence. 

“Why aren't I being held in the dungeons like the other prisoners?” I began, “Why is it that everytime I see you, I feel like I'm going to vomit? And is it just a normal vampire thing to be able to communicate through someone's mind or what?” 

I listed a majority of my concerns, but that wasn't even mentioning the visions or the fact that I was constantly hearing voices. Then again, it was probably best to keep that to myself until I was sure I wouldn't be sent to a mental asylum. But I'd gotten at least some of it out on the table, it was just up to him to take it or leave it.

Of course, I wasn't surprised when he didn't answer me. There was a long moment of silence, our eyes boring holes into each others’ as I awaited anything in response. But while I'd expected him to be harsh, make fun of me or simply kill me right then and there, the actions he took following my questions left me speechless.

"You can't be serious..." His head fell and he stood there without uttering a single word more. His shoulders began to shake, and I would have assumed he was laughing at me considering the things he'd said moments before. However, the second he looked up and I was able to see his face, it was clear by the redness of his eyes and his tightly knit brows that he wasn't laughing. There were tears on his cheeks, real, actual tears that I never would’ve imagined he had the ability to produce. I hadn't even considered the fact that he had emotions, to be honest. I just assumed he was a stoic, heartless, monster with a human's face. But I was beginning to see how wrong I really was. He was broken and frustrated, and to say he didn't have emotions was the biggest understatement I could have made. I began to understand what he was feeling, and I wanted to somehow show him that in that moment, he wasn't alone. For whatever reason, it made my heart ache to see him so upset. I could deal with his anger easily, but sadness was different. Sadness was vulnerability, the rawest and most pure form of openness one could express. He had chosen me to witness that side of him, and regardless of why, I wanted to at least try to honor it. Well, that was if he would let me.

I stepped forward and lifted my hand ever so slightly, but the prince seemed to slip into self defence mode the moment I moved. He suddenly raised a fist and twisted his body, plunging his knuckles into the marble fountain with so much force I'm surprised the whole thing didn't shatter. That isn't to say it didn't crack, through, which it definitely did. 

I just staggered back with my mouth hanging open and watched as he dropped to his knees. He clutched his hand to his chest and let out a small whimper, the same sound a wolf made when it was injured. I wanted to help him, but I knew he would bite back without hesitation if I got too close. As much as it hurt me to watch him sit there in pain, I had no choice but to distance myself. He was unstable, and I really had no way of knowing how he would react to anything I did.

On one hand, I expected him to yell, to scream and call the guards or throw a punch at me himself. That's what I'd been prepared for, but the prince was unpredictable, as always.

“Do you even remember my name?” His voice was croaky and weak, and from someone who cried a lot, I couldn't help but feel such strong sympathy for him. I didn't know where his tears were coming from and it was surreal to see the prince in such a state, but there was really nothing I could do. I knew I'd somehow been the cause of his turmoil; there was no other explanation as to why he would break down before a measly peasant, but I was lost as to the details. I wished I could ask my past self what I'd done to break a vampire's heart, but unfortunately, I only had one gateway to my old life.

“Prince Kogane?” I knew the moment the words left my lips that they weren't what he wanted to hear.

“No. My name, Lance. My first name.” He peaked his head up from where he was crouched on the ground like a little kid. It made me sad, honestly. He sounded so hopeful and desperate, but I didn't know the answer and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I'll admit, maybe I had known at some point. Maybe ten years ago, maybe even five. But I reminded myself that we were not friends--not anymore. We were nothing to eachother now. He was the prince and far from human, and me? A prisoner. It wasn't my job to console him, as much as I really did want to.

“Am I supposed to know?” I asked, and it was then that he lost the hopefulness in his eyes. He looked away as he stood, dusted himself off but didn't bother to wipe the tears from his cheeks. It was almost like he was guilting me, like he wanted me to feel bad for something I'd done in the past. Well, mission accomplished, because I felt like complete shit.

“Forget it. You shouldn't have even come here, Lance. If you were anyone else, I would have killed you for this treason.” He spoke as if I had defeated him, like he'd lost his will to fight and gave up trying. I should have just quit while I was ahead, cut my loses, and gone back to my room where Shiro was waiting. But no. Me being me, I refused to drop it.

“But why? Can't you tell me why I'm so damn special instead of playing games with me? I'm supposed to be a prisoner, for fuck’s sake. I don't belong here, yet…” I looked at my feet and collected my thoughts, the ones that had been so scrambled in the past few days that I could hardly tell reality from my daydreams, “For whatever reason, I feel like I'm home. I feel like I've been here before, and I don't know, maybe that's the reason I'm so special? I know it doesn't make sense and it's driving me crazy, so please, Keith, just tell me what's going on.”

It was a moment before I processed what had slipped undetected past my lips, but the second I glanced up at his face, I let out a gasp and covered my mouth with my hands. Who the hell was I to be calling the prince by his first name? And where the hell had I even learned it? That was a good way to get my ass beat, even if I had no clue whether or not it was right.

“I-- I didn't mean to…” I began to apologize somewhat frantically, but he raised a hand to stop me. I stepped back and he stepped forward, and we continued like that until I was nearly backed up against a hedge. 

Then, he smiled, the most surprising thing he'd done that night, still with wetness highlighting his pinkish cheeks that I hadn't realised were so cute until then. His fangs poked out a bit, but he wasn't showing them off like his guards had. He was happy and far from intimidating, and I truly felt comfortable with him. It was hard not to when his eyes were crinkled up like that, under the light of the moon in a garden of roses.

“Lance, I'm confident you'll find the answers to your questions on your own. This is just proof to me that her power isn't as strong as she thinks. You'll remember, just trust me.” 

Regardless of who ‘she’ was, I smiled back. With his reassurance, I could see more clearly and all of the clues that had been thrust in my face began to make sense. 

“I've been here before.” I stated, less as a question and more as a means of convincing myself.

The prince, or Keith, as I'd come to realize, just nodded his head in response.

“I grew up in the same room I'm being held in now.”

Again, he nodded.

“We were… We were friends at some point.”

Yep.

“And then my parents. They aren't… They weren't who I thought they were.”

And with that, I'd at least begun to chip away at the great mystery of my life. I had a ground to build up from, and it felt as though I had a new ally to help me through it.

“You've got a lot to think about, Lance, so return to your room before the feast begins. Oh, and if you find yourself in danger…” he tapped a finger to his temple and stared into my eyes. Then, I heard his voice in my head again, speaking to me telepathically using magic I couldn't even begin to understand.

‘Just let me know.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate the writing in this chapter im sorry, but next chapter was probably my favorite to write (hint: nobleman lotion joins the party) so stay tuned for that ^^


	6. A Certain Nobleman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance runs into a familiar face and is forced to call upon the prince for help, however, before his savior arrives, he is clued in on the secrets of his childhood and the truth becomes closer than ever.

The castle was empty, like its very lifeblood had been stripped away and all that was left was a carcass. It was eerily silent, and while I suppose that was a good thing for my sake, it brought me no real comfort knowing why the place was so desolate.

The vampires were all at the blood ball, doing unspeakable acts that made me sick to my stomach even thinking about, but I would be safe as long as I stayed away from the ballroom and lied low. That's what Keith had said, anyways, and I was really starting to trust him despite our initial interactions. His assurance gave me a sense of security, like I was somehow protected simply by knowing his name. In my eyes, he was strong and powerful, like he could pick a fight with anyone in the kingdom and win. That was great as long as we remained friends, but if I crossed him again, that very strength would prove to be rather problematic.

Though, after being a first hand witness to the sensitive side of him, I knew he would never use the full extent of his power against me. I couldn't deny that Keith and I had been close at one point, and that we'd shattered a vase together as children and glued it back together again. But there was so much I didn't know, years and years worth of events that were lost to me. I wondered how well we really knew each other, and even more than that, I wondered what sort of trauma had caused me to forget. 

Keith had mentioned something about a woman's power, and since then, I had begun to suspect that I wasn't suffering through a typical case of amnesia. I mean, I wasn't stupid, and I was pretty sure bumping your head or drinking a pubs worth of booze wasn't enough to make you forget half of your life. There was magic involved, there must have been. How else could I have forgotten my own parents? My name? My friends and where I lived? You don't just forget where you're born, not without the influence of some outside force. My memory was stolen from me, and my identity was taken right along with it. But by whom? And was it even possible at that point to get it back?

There were too many damn questions swimming around in the empty cavity of my mind. It was frustrating, and to add to that frustration, I began to feel the creeping sensation of a vision coming on. It was sudden and unexpected, and while there was usually a fairly obvious trigger, I couldn't figure out what exactly the cause of it was. I was in an empty hallway, no vases or cribs in sight and I was pretty sure there was no one around me. Again, I was pretty sure, but pretty sure wasn't certain.

“No, no, no.” I muttered hoarsely and raised a fist to my head, trying to suppress it considering I had about ten minutes to get back to my room before inevitable death. But of course, luck was never in my favor.

I felt the usual disorientation, and then came the sudden invasion of my mind by disembodied voices and images. It overtook me, and my legs became weak enough to send me to the ground in a panting mess. I looked like I was coming down with the plague, and if anyone were to come across me in that vulnerable moment, it wouldn't have been very hard for them to take advantage of me. I tired to crawl out of the way of potential foot traffic, but I just couldn't force my body to comply. With no other options, I curled up in a fetal position as the vision became more predominant, laying in the middle of the hall like I'd just dropped dead.

In the vision, Keith and I were running, laughing and yelling down the same hall I had collapsed in. There was a boy chasing after us, probably in his teens, with long, white hair that fell to his shoulders. He was shouting something I couldn't make out with this angry look on his face, bounding after us in the clothes of a nobleman. Of course, I fell behind Keith and was caught by the white haired boy. He grasped the back of my collar and lifted me from the ground by my shirt like a sack of meat. I gasped and clawed at his hands, kicking my feet as I struggled to escape. But I was young, maybe twelve or thirteen, and even for a child, I was incredibly weak.

“Let him go, Lotor. Don't forget that he's human.” Keith had said in my defence, though the teenager, Lotor, simply ignored the prince and began to shake me around like a ragdoll.

“He'll be gone soon anyways. What's the harm in having a little fun?” He cooed in my ear with this strangely mesmerising voice, but Keith was quick to interject before my breathing was cut off completely.

He stepped forward, and while he was shorter than Lotor, easily managed to pry my body from his grasp. He pushed me behind him and stood between Lotor and I, and I could see on my young face that I was in complete awe of his strength.

“Humans can live almost a hundred years, Lotor. He's not going anywhere anytime soon.” Keith stated protectively, but regardless of how cool I thought he was, Lotor just let out this harsh cackle that sounded like a dying animal of some sort. It wasn't a pained wolf, though, rather an alley cat caught in the wheels of a carriage.

“That's not what I meant, you dunce. Has your father really not told you what's to come of your little human friend?” He scoffed at the puzzled looks on our faces. I impatiently waited for him to elaborate, but soon, the vision began to fade.

I desperately wanted to cling onto the dream-like memory, but it wasn't something I could really control. Of course, I couldn't help but feel empty and unsatisfied when it was gone completely. It was like a cliffhanger at the end of a book and God, was it aggravating. The hardest part to believe was the fact that up until a few days prior, I hadn't even cared about my past. For whatever reason, there was a barrier in my brain that didn't allow me to even register the fact that more than half my childhood was missing. That, and I had no recollection as to who my parents actually were. It was crazy, and I couldn't help but hate myself a little for my blatant ignorance. 

“Who the hell are you?”

My eyes shot open when a voice, one from the real world, spoke suddenly from above me. 

It looked like I'd passed out drunk in the middle of the hall and it definitely wasn't the best position to be caught in. I was about to explain to the man a more liable version of my situation, but the moment we made solid eye contact, he gasped and clasped his hand over his mouth.

“What… Why are you here?” He uttered almost breathlessly and staggered back like I was an apparition. 

“Lotor…” I returned in a state of denial, scanning his body in the hopes of finding some inconsistency that would prove it was all just a dream. I guess he had been the missing trigger; my mind must have sensed his familiar face before I even had the chance to see him with my own eyes.

Based off of the limited clues my brain had fed me, I pieced together that he was a nobleman, one in enough power to feel no fear when it came to the prince. He was older than I was, and clearly a vampire like nearly everyone else in the castle. But my biggest concern was the fact that he wasn't at the blood ball where he should have been, which meant he'd either just recently partaken in human blood or it had been a week since his last meal, and I really couldn't choose which was more terrifying.

My body went into this state of paralysis as he approached me again, grasped the collar of my shirt and lifted me to my feet. His face contorted to one of pure, nightmare inducing rage as he backed me up against the wall and jabbed his forearm into my neck.

“How the hell do you remember my name?” Lotor yelled in my face, showcasing a rather large pair of fangs. I pinched my eyes shut and turned my head as to avoid his harsh stare, hesitating to answer in a voice so quiet it was hardly audible.

“You chased us down this hall when we were kids--” 

“Who is us?” Lotor was quick to interrupt and pressed his arm further into my neck. I reached up and clawed at his skin, but just like my attempt all those years ago, my nails had minimal effect as his body was nearly sword proof.

“Keith and I...” I was forced to answer him in fear of loosing my life, but I had the feeling I wasn't supposed to know.

“Why are you here, Lance?” He pressed, and at the mention of my name, I turned my face to him and opened my eyes. 

He was just as I had remembered him to be. Sharp features, light, almost yellow eyes and long, white hair. The only difference now was the fact that he had aged into a young man, one that was far more intimidating than the angry and hormonal boy I'd supposedly know before. I was now the teenager. A helpless teenager, mind you, one in desperate need of saving. 

Then, I remembered what Keith had said before I left him in the gardens, to just let him know if I was in danger and he'd be there. I wondered if somehow calling to him with my mind would actually summon him. I really doubted it, but I needed help and I was willing to try anything at that point. So, I squeezed my eyes shut and thought of him, his face, his voice, and those perfect eyes,then tried to compose coherent thoughts in the midst of mild panic addressed to him.

‘Keith, I'm about to get my ass beat by Lotor so if you could maybe swing by, that'd be great.’

I didn't know what I expected to happen immediately but I was still there in Lotor’s arms when I opened my eyes. I was still in eminent danger and I could still have really used Keith's help. Maybe him and I were too far apart, or maybe we didn't have a strong enough connection, but I highly doubted my message had reached him. I reminded myself that merely hoping someone would save me wasn't going to actually save me. It was up to my own quick wits as a human peasant to survive the encounter. But the hardest part for me was controlling my nasty temper, because the longer he held me there, the angrier and more irrational I got.

“I was arrested.” I explained shortly to the nobleman and contemplated spitting in his face. Then again, that's exactly why I had been arrested in the first place, and considering he could have easily snapped my neck, I respectfully restrained.

“Really? Because you sure as hell don't look like a prisoner.” He was getting closer to me, more heated and angry, “So I'm going to ask you one more time, what the hell are you doing back in the castle?” 

He leaned forward and threatened me with his fangs as they hovered dangerously close to my skin. I needed to get the hell back to my room, and I supposed complying with him was the only way. So, I swallowed what little pride I had left and began to explain the circumstances leading up to my current state of entrapment.

“I was in the dungeons before, but the Prince relocated me to a separate bedroom shortly after I arrived--”

“Dammit, Keith!” Lotor yelled suddenly, cutting me off and disrupting the gentleness of the castle in an almost hysteric fit of unforeseen rage. He reached his other hand to my throat and pulled my body from the wall, and on second thought, I suppose lying would have been the better option.

With unimaginable strength, Lotor let out a strained growl and quite literally threw me across the hall. I landed like a ragdoll against a marble pillar, dazed and confused as to how he had managed such a feat. My back took most of the damage and I let out a sharp yell, squinting my eyes as I stared up at the man. He was fuming, but I still didn't exactly understand why. What had I said that caused him to be so angry? What could I have possibly done in the past to make him hate me so much? I didn't know what I'd said to deserve nearly breaking my spine over, but I sure as hell was feeling the repercussions. 

“You can't be here. Her spell couldn't have worn off already… It-- It just can't be. Does the king know you're here?” Lotor jabbed a finger in my direction and took a step closer, but the second his heel made contact with the ground, my savior finally arrived.

“No, and he won't.” Keith interjected and stepped between Lotor and I, having appeared from seemingly nowhere. He had come in silence, but I doubted he'd be able to leave without causing a scene. I was shocked that he had actually heard my cry and come to my rescue. As pathetic as it made me feel, I was happy. 

“You little brat! What do you think you're doing bringing him back into the castle? He was exiled for a reason!” Lotor addressed the prince and I was amazing at the informality of his tone. Then again, I hadn't at any point showed the prince proper respect so I really had no room to judge. But I couldn't help but get caught up on the word ‘exiled.’ How the hell could a thirteen year old have possibly been exiled?

“This has nothing to do with you, Lotor.” Keith returned, though even I could sense the power struggle between the two.

“That's where you're wrong, Keith, and don't think for a second that I won't get the king involved in this.” Lotor stepped forward, and to my surprise, Keith stepped back.

“You will not--” He began, though Lotor suddenly grasped Keith's shoulders roughly and shook him. Lotor didn't look angry, instead, his brows were pulled taut across his forehead and he looked distressed, worried and fearful.

“Her spell is wearing off! You must know what this means for the rest of the kingdom, don't you? This human does not have a place amongst us!” Lotor was in the prince's face, testing his patience and thankfully, Keith had had more than enough. 

“Shut up!” The prince raised his hand to Lotor and struck him hard across the cheek with a shocking amount of force. Lotor let out a shrill cry and fell, sliding a few feet before landing in a fetal position on the floor. Keith was indeed the stronger of the two and made it very clear. He maintained his dominance, though I doubted Lotor would stay down for long.

“We have to go.” Keith turned to me and extended his hand. I took it hesitantly and in the matter of seconds, he pulled me from the ground and was dragging me down the hall. I found it hard to keep up with him even sprinting as fast as humanly possible, but to be fair, he very much exceeded that limitation. Not to mention, the pain in my back hadn't suddenly disappeared like magic. It was still very much there, and it felt like hot coals bubbling beneath my skin.

“Where are we going?” I called out between desperate gasps for air.

“Lance, I promise I'll explain later.” Keith spoke effortlessly as I followed blindly behind him, weaving around corners and cutting through corridors like madmen. 

“Sure you will.” I snapped back, beginning to slow as the taste of copper flooded my mouth.

I couldn't have been sure because I was staring at the back of his head, but I was almost certain he’d rolled his eyes. He then let out a disgruntled groan and stopped without any warning. I crashed into his back, which was rock solid, by the way, and nearly fell on my ass.

“What the hell are you--” I began to question, but he was quick to cut me off. 

“You're too slow.” And with that, Keith stepped close and reached down, wrapping one arm around the back of my knees and the other around my torso. He lifted me from the ground like I weighed nothing, and I'll be honest and admit that I shrieked like a girl.

With me in his arms, he began to run at his full capacity. It felt like we were falling somehow, but I trusted him not to drop me. I let myself be close to him and blamed it on my fear rather than the fact that I liked how he smelled and how his body felt against mine. Then, I realized I hadn't gotten that strenuous pain upon seeing him that time. It wasn't like our past encounters when it physically ached to be near him. We were just together, like normal people, like he wasn't the prince and I wasn't a peasant. Like maybe, just maybe, we could really be friends again.

We stayed like that for a while as he carried me off to God knows where and away from Lotor. I wasn't worried about the nobleman, though, and at that point, I decided that I really did trust Keith with my life. Eventually, we stopped at the end of this long, dark hallway just outside of a wooden door with a stained glass window in the center. But as he set me down cautiously, my knees gave out beneath me and I let out a small gasp.

I stared at the door, unblinking, knowing what was coming the second I began to feel lightheaded. Everything faded and I staggered backwards, though Keith was there to catch me this time.

“Lance, what's wrong?” He questioned, but his voice felt so distant and I couldn't bother to respond. 

A vision began to wash over my senses and I left reality for a moment, watching as a younger, happier me and a younger, definitely less intimidating Keith bounded towards the very door we stood in front of. I had hesitated to go inside while Keith threw the door open like the prince he was.

In the room was a man, dressed extravagantly and honing such a sense of confidence that it almost hurt to look at. I had a feeling that that man was the king, and while I wasn't certain, my instincts were screaming out and I couldn't ignore them. Beside him stood a women dressed equally as pristine, and in front of them stood another couple, though they were far more modest.

When Keith and I walked inside the beautifully decorated study, the adults ceased their conversation and smiled down at us.

“Hi, boys. What are you two up to today?” As the modest woman spoke, I recalled her tragically familiar voice as that of my mother, the same voice that had sung to me in my crib as a baby. My mother, my father, the king, and the queen were all gathered together in peace. They were friends. They were smiling. They weren't at war and their children were happy together.

I felt that crushing, earth-shattering realization that everything I'd known was truly one big, intricate lie. My mind had created this illusion of a past and I never questioned how close it was to reality. I never even wondered what happened to my parents besides what I was told, that they were rebels in a fight against the vampire rulers of our nation. I thought that they were killed in battle, but if I really could trust the cracks in the wall that shone light on the reality I had been sheltered from, then I had no idea how they really died. They were accomplices of the very vampires I had thought they were dead set on killing. 

So how did they die then? How did I end up on the streets so far from the castle I'd supposedly grown up in? Why was my memory just now coming back and what had caused me to forget in the first place?

“Lance, wake up.” I heard Keith, but I knew from the wavering of his voice that it wasn't an illusion. It was really him, and when I felt his hands on my shoulders, I finally jolted awake.

We were inside that room, and thanks to the vision, I knew exactly what it looked like before I even had a chance to look around. It was so strangly familiar, and so was the pressure of Keith leaning over my body. 

“I, uhm…” I stuttered meekly and refused to look at him, instead focusing my attention on the ceiling. He shifted from beside me and after confirming I wasn't dead, disappeared from my line of of sight.

“Thanks for saving me from Lotor.”

Eventually, I sat upright on the couch he had placed me on and stared at the ground, watching Keith's feet as they tapped nervously from his seat.

“So you know his name?” Keith spoke softly as if the nobleman might still hear us. I looked up at him and nodded, unsure of whether or not it was a good thing that I remembered. But I did, and it felt like I would have known regardless of whether or not I'd had the vision.

“Tell me again what you've remembered so far, Lance.” He propped his head up with his elbows on his knees and stared at me with this expectant look on his face. I shifted in my seat and averted my gaze again to the bookshelves that lined the walls. As per his request, I began to rake through my brain and pulled out all the unexplained details of my life that I managed to recall in a relatively coherent manner.

“I lived in this castle when I was a baby and throughout my childhood. Our parents were friends, and so were we. You and I liked to mess with Lotor, I guess, and other than a few specific instances of us as children, I can't remember much else.” He looked disappointed when I finished speaking and I suppose I was as well. I mean, I really had nothing to go off of as to who I was. I was empty and hollow inside, and more than anything, I just wanted my life back. All those little puzzle pieces were building up to something huge, and I was so desperate to see the final picture.

“Do you know why you can't remember?” Keith asked, but I just shook my head and bit my lip.

He let out a deep sigh and his eyes fell to his lap. I could feel a pretty long winded explanation coming, so I got comfortable on the couch and gave Keith the floor. My heartbeat raced with anticipation, and he had no choice but to finally come clean about everything he'd kept from me. 

“After your parents and my mother were killed, the king went into this deep depression and fell ill. He refused to speak to me or even leave his chambers, for that matter, so all I really had in that time was you.” He paused and took a moment to collect himself, “We never left each others’ side, and when we were thirteen years old, we made a mistake that ultimately lead to your banishment from the castle. Now, it may even lead to your death.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked hesitantly with an uncertain and nervous smile on my lips, hoping to God that this was all just some sick, twisted joke. Keith didn't look at me, just ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip so hard I was surprised he didn't puncture it.

“We were kids, Lance. Neither of us knew what we were doing.” He avoided the question and tried to justify the actions I was still left in the dark about. He was taking his time to pick out his words carefully, but a bullet was still deadly no matter how much you muffled it.

“Keith…” I pressed again, growing more worried and impatient with each passing second.

“Lance, you must understand how much this pains me. But nothing is set in stone, and there's a chance we can reverse it--”

“Reverse what, Keith?” I snapped after his second excuse, his second attempt at softening the blow. I wanted to reach out and shake him, force him to rip off the bandages and just spit it out already. But eventually, he gave up trying to sugarcoat it and glanced up with sad, defeated eyes. His skin no longer held that porcelain glow, and the flush of his cheeks had disappeared with it. His face was white, hollow and sunken like he'd aged ten years in mere minutes. He looked guilty, heartbroken, and genuinely fearful as to what would come from this interaction. All of those emotions reflected onto my own face as I stared at him, almost like looking in a mirror, awaiting the news that would tear my whole world to pieces.

“When we were thirteen years old,” He began slowly in a somber and delicate voice, “we cut our hands with my father's dagger and made a blood pact. We promised each other we would marry by the time he died and rule the kingdom together. We were just kids and we didn't know any better, we were innocent and in love and tired of watching those around us get hurt. We didn't know how serious it really was,” My face dropped and Keith paused a moment, choking on his words as his eyes welled with tears, “but blood pacts are binding, and if our promises are not fulfilled by the time the king passes, you'll die alongside him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All will be revealed in time...


	7. Fire Fueled Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith have a hard time combatting the past and end up combatting each other in a fight fueled by love. Lance makes a decision that may lead to his demise, and Keith is once again left alone in a castle too big to be called home.

When it seems like your life is spiralling out of control, as if the glass walls of your quiet, little home have been shattered at the touch of a storm, you have to remind yourself of how you've managed to make it so far to begin with. You have to stop and collect yourself, take a step back, and come to understand that you are not a failure. Some matters are out of your hands and there’s nothing you can do to change that, but you have grown as a human being all on your own, which is proof enough that you can get through anything. You're going to be alright, because all storms pass eventually. You have to brave it and bear the stress, that's the only way to make it to that light at the end of the tunnel where everyone dear to you is waiting. 

That's what I told myself as I stared at the prince through teary eyes. There were obvious things that I wanted to ask him, things that made me want to want to get up and leave the whole mess behind, but I didn't bring those things to light immediately. I held my tongue and didn't yell or cry, and instead of getting angry or irrational with frustration like I would have a month ago, I focused on what should have mattered most to me. The reason I had ever stepped foot in the castle to begin with was because of my parents’ connections. It was them that gave me life and they were the first people to ever love me. Whatever Keith had said about our bloodpact wasn't important in that moment, and while the thought of dying never left my mind, I focused instead on the mention of their deaths. That was the only thing I needed to know, and until then, nothing else mattered. Not my life, and not how it would end.

“How did they die?” I uttered in a deadpanned tone with my face out of view, though my voice was hoarse and showed the emotions I was truly feeling.

Panic, desperation, disbelief. But I learned that sometimes it was best to ignore the side of you that wanted to submit to your primitive reactions. It was fine to cry, but it was also good to remember that tears often distorted the way you viewed reality.

“My father was signing a treaty with our neighboring kingdom to the East. It was a grand celebration and both of our parents were attending. We were there, too, but halfway through the ceremony, an unidentified rebel attacked with the intention of killing the king...” Keith paused, sucked in a sharp breath, and stood from his chair. He cautiously walked over and sat beside me on the couch, then like a teenage couple at a Shakespearean tragedy, wrapped his arm around my shoulders in comfort. But this wasn't a play, and I was afraid that the curtains might soon be drawn on my trainwreck of a life. Everything seemed to be sinking in, including the reality of my imminent death and tragic past. But it all seemed too easy, far too easy to be the end. 

“I'm sorry, Lance, but the king was the only one who made it out alive.” I could sense how hard he was trying to break the news softly, and while I knew it was coming, his words still struck me like a bullet through my chest.

All that shit about them being rebels was a lie, just an idea planted in my head by a haggardly enchantress. The truth was that they were killed by the people I thought them to be, and that they were as much a part of the vampire society as I thought they were against it. And there I was thinking they were careless, that it was their own damn faults they were gone. 

“What kind of people were they?” I looked up to Keith in that same, hopeful way he'd looked at me before. His face lit up at the mention of them, and I couldn't help but feel jealous at the closeness they must have had. It pained me that I'd never remember my relationship with my own damn parents, and that this stranger beside me got to know them so well and I was left in the dark. That's what I hated most about the whole situation. All those relationships I'd had when I was a child were gone, and I didn't know if I'd ever get them back.

“Your mother was the most caring person I've ever met. She was beautiful and kind, and her voice was the only thing that could calm us down when we couldn't sleep.” Keith was beaming now, smiling ear to ear and staring off somewhere behind me, “And your father, man, he was absolutely brilliant. I really don't know how the castle has held itself together without him.”

While he was revelling in the past, I was caught up in the present, simply because I had nothing else to be caught up in. There was no where in my head I could escape to, no happy places I could distract myself with. I was forced to face the distant memories through someone else's eyes and I wasn't ready, not now, not with Keith, not in the castle, and especially not with everything else going on.

I started to cry for the hundredth time that week, then came the ugly, violent sobbing the shook my whole body. I was doubled over with fluids pouring from my face like the fountain in the garden, digging myself deeper and deeper with self destructive thoughts that sure as hell weren't helping. Eventually, Keith pressed his hand firmly to my back as I hyperventilated myself into hysteria. I stiffened at his touch for a moment, but soon relaxed as he began to trace my spine with delicate fingers. 

“Lance, I know you can't remember a majority of your time with them, but they'd want you to be happy.” He cooed softly in my ear and leaned his face close to mine. I could feel his breath on the wetness of my cheeks and felt safe, safe enough to open my mouth and spill a few of my thoughts for him to sift through. Intimacy scared me almost as much as the thought of my own death, but with Keith, it just felt so natural, like the only place I belonged on earth was at his side.

“I hated them, Keith. I hated them because I thought they didn't care about me. I thought they just left me to die in the streets or something. I- I had no idea…” I spoke through sniffles and stifled coughs, but Keith understood me just fine.

He let me cry on his shoulder for a while. It was nice, but of course, niceness never really lasted when it came to Keith and I. That was our dynamic. For every sincere moment we had, one of hatred and bitter words was soon to follow. I looked up and sighed, then smiled in a way that showed no happiness. It showed how pathetic I was, if anything, how lost and miserable thinking about the past really made me.

“You know, I kind of wish I had just died with them. I would've known I was loved, at least, and I wouldn't have to feel so empty now--”

In the midst of my angsty monologue, Keith placed his hands on my shoulders and forced me to face him. My eyes went wide and I flinched at the intenseness of his stare and the almost angry look he gave me. I couldn't blame him for being so direct, but my heart was still pretty raw in that moment and I could hardly stand him being so close. But he continued to hold me there as if I'd disappear the moment he let go, which was a fair assumption, I suppose. He hadn't seen me in years, and who knows if he'd ever see me again if I were to leave. He was just desperate to keep his friend this time around, so yeah, I really couldn't blame him.

“They loved you, Lance. I loved you, so please never wish you were in their shoes. You need to understand how much you meant to us, and how much you still mean to me.” Keith was desperate to make me understand, and God, I wanted to more than anything. But his words were just words, empty to meaning and without any sincerity, because as much as it hurt to admit it, I hardly knew this man.

Since the day I was abandoned in my village, no one had ever told me they loved me. Maybe he was just talking about the past, but it still felt so odd to hear it from his lips. Love was such a foreign concept especially coming from someone I didn't know well, so I just stared at him with furrowed brows as he held tightly onto my shoulders.

“Lance, we can still save you. There’s still time before my father passes, we can still do it. ” He lifted his hand to show his palm to me where a faint, pale line stretched across it. While I'd hardly paid any mind to it before, I had the same scar from the same dagger, from the same night I sealed my fate at only thirteen years old. I held out my own hand hesitantly with my palm facing him and sure enough, my scar was still there. It seemed like I had gone deeper than him, though, like I'd been more eager about our bloodpact than he was. It was funny how much the tables had turned in the course of three years, because now I was the one wishing it had never happened.

Everything Keith had kept locked up in his heart seemed to pour out at the sight of my scar. He looked so damn desperate, so helpless and lost, and then there was me. I stared at him as if our past was nonexistent, because in my mind, that was the truth. It was like looking into a two way mirror; all I could see was a meaningless reflection, while Keith was watching me from the other side knowing so much more about me than I ever could. He sensed this, my discomfort and confusion, and pulled away slowly in defeat.

“I'm sorry, I'm just… I'm overwhelmed. You were my brother, Lance, and when I lost you, I lost a piece of myself. It's so crushing to know that you've forgotten our past even though you're sitting right in front of me. Every moment we spent together will be for nothing if we don't fix this. Please, just let me try.” Again, he hit me with those doe eyes that I had a hard time ignoring. I felt so fucking guilty, but what the hell could I possibly do about it? It was all so hard to believe, the fact that I'd been cursed or whatever after my parents died. Up until I was taken back to the castle, I'd been in a state of blissful ignorance. To have everything suddenly dumped on me was hard, too hard for a street rat to handle. I had no emotional capacity, and in order to keep from hurting myself further, I began to shut him out.

“Keith, I'm sorry. I'm sure we were great friends, but this is just too much. I'm confused and scared and I hardly even know who you are, or who I am, for that matter. Thank you for everything, but I can't do this--” Then, despite my efforts to be calm and gentle, Keith cut me off in a low, almost inaudible voice.

“Then leave.” 

I was taken aback by his sudden, deadpanned tone when he had been so full of emotion a moment ago. Keith's moods seemed to change on a dime, but telling me to leave was the most abrupt and unpredictable thing he'd done thus far. For one, it was strange that he would go through all the trouble of keeping me in the castle only to cut me loose all of a sudden, and secondly, he knew that if I were to leave, our broken promises would prove to be the end of me. But even as harsh as his suggestion was, maybe it was for the best, maybe I just wasn't meant to live. Maybe leaving really was my only choice in the matter. I mean, did he expect me to marry him? And if not, what else was there to be done? It was over, dead and buried, just like I'd be soon enough. 

Keith scoffed after I gave him no answer. He stood from the couch and we stared at each other, the tension beginning to grow and grow with each passing moment. He furrowed his brows and put up a defensive front; I could tell his patience for me had run out. 

“If this is too much for you to handle, then you can leave, for all I care. I only had you arrested in the hopes of helping you but I can see now that you’re not interested in living. So go, and you can die the day my father does on the streets of your poor, human village in the middle of nowhere.” His voice was deep and strained, and I suddenly felt a shiver run down my spine. I stood up as well hoping I'd feel in the least bit more powerful but to no avail. In fact, once I was eye to eye with him, I backed away whether knowingly or not and he quickly followed suit. 

“A- Are you serious?” I let out a nervous chuckle as I continued to step back, trying to break the tension before it killed me. His eyes were so brooding and dangerous, and quite frankly, my fear of him was beginning to creep back.

Soon, my back clashed against a bookshelf and Keith only managed to get closer. He shoved his finger into my chest and was far too preoccupied to supress his strength. The jab felt more like a punch, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was really trying to hurt me. While I knew he was just heartbroken and alone, and even if my intentions were well, an injured wolf will still bite back. This person, rather, this monster who claimed to have loved me really had a strange way of proving it. I suppose love didn’t age well, or maybe his love just wasn’t kept in the best conditions over time and rotted away like a bad cheese. Bad analogy considering the circumstances, I know, but I tried to find some light in the situation before I ended up with puncture wounds in my neck. 

“Dead serious. You are not my Lance. My Lance would never willfully abandon me.” His words became accusations, and while I tried not to be scared or angry or sad, all of those emotions got sort of jumbled together as I tried to speak. But my voice cracked, and as I shrugged Keith’s hand away from my bony chest, I looked more pathetic than anything else. My brows were knit together and my eyes were glossed over; of course, I was afraid of showing the rawest form of myself to him, especially when it looked like he wanted to snap my neck, but I couldn’t help it. I broke down and it was hard to tell whether I was laughing or crying. Even I didn't exactly know how I was feeling, but I guess it was a bit of everything. 

“Fine. I'll leave, and I hope to God I forget that I ever met you.” All I knew was that I craved conflict in the hopes of finding some sort of resolution. I didn't know how we'd gone from a meaningful discussion about the past to wanting to fight each other, but in that moment, I sure as hell wanted to punch him in his stupid, pretty face.

“Good! Leave and die for all I fucking care.”

Seriously, fuck him for making me feel guilty when I was the real victim of this whole mess. Fuck him for giving me hope then tearing it away because he was impatient. In that moment, Keith was just an arrogant prince. And me? A kid who didn't know when to shut his mouth. 

“This isn't my fault, Keith. You think you’re suffering? How the fuck do you think I feel--” I began to yell, though as I took a step towards him and the tension reached an all time high between us, we locked eyes, and it suddenly felt like a knife had plunged deep into my skull.

It was like the king was taunting me for having ever fallen in love with his son. The closer he got to death, the closer I got, and he only seemed to be in pain whenever it was most inconvenient to me. At the very least, I now knew where those hellish headaches and chest pains were coming from. It was King Kogane dying of an unknown sickness, and in turn, killing me slowly thanks to Keith and I’s ignorant bloodpact. The mystery was solved, but I wasn’t as satisfied as I’d hoped I would be. The truth hurt as much as death did, and now that I knew, I wish I had just stayed clueless and died suddenly in my sleep or something. It was torturous to see your grave lying ten feet in front of you and having no choice but to walk towards it. I hadn't quite accepted that fact, but the moment I did, it would be like dying then and there. I would drift around like a ghost until the day the king and I both croaked, in this perpetual state of mourning for my own loss.

I let out a sharp, strained gasp and dropped to my knees. Keith's angry expression dissipated and his first instinct was to reach for me, but something stopped him and his hand lingered in the air. I suppose it had been our previous argument, which was understandable; I wouldn't want to touch me, either. 

“Are you okay?” He was obligated to ask since I had curled myself up into a ball on the floor within a matter of two seconds, but still, he could have at least pretended to have some empathy for me. His voice was dry and unwavering, but his refusal to show any sort of concern didn't hold up long.

I blamed it on my childish blue eyes and almost feminine physique, but eventually, he sighed and crouched to my level, holding out his hand to help me up. I shouldn't have taken it, I really, really shouldn't have forgiven him so easily, but while I had ocean eyes, he had eyes of flames that could easily make any man melt. As I felt the cool, silky touch of his finger tips, I felt a flush across the bridge of my pointed nose and forgot for a second that I was inching closer and closer to death with each passing second. The fogginess in my head faded and I felt like I could breathe again, which I wasn't complaining about, but I hated how much of a helpless princess I'd become. From being locked in a tower to rescued by a prince; I was supposed to be a man, yet I felt so weak, so lost and alone. I shouldn't have had to rely on Keith to solve all my quarrels, but then again, all he had to do was touch me and suddenly everything became clear.

But while I expected him to pull me up from the ground like any normal person would have in that situation, I was again a victim to Keith's unpredictability. Instead, he forced me towards him in a somewhat aggressive display of affection and I had no choice but to lean into his solid chest. I let out a soft gasp as he placed his other hand on the nape of my neck, trapping me in his arms as he attempted to sooth the uncomfortable pain inside of me that was as much his fault as it was mine.

If even the touch of his hand had caused me to blush like an idiot, you can imagine the utter mess I melted into. It was shocking to see him being nice to me, or trying to, at least, but he still managed to make me feel things I shouldn't have been feeling. I could sense his awkwardness at being so close, but it was cute, nevertheless. Cute, but equally intimidating and unnervingly sexy.

“I didn't mean it, Lance. I don't really want you to leave, you know that. I'm just... I'm sorry.” Keith spoke in a careful, hushed tone, but sorry wasn't enough. He couldn't take back his words, and I refused to take back mine.

“I know, but maybe it's for the best.” I returned in all seriousness and reluctantly shifted from his embrace. His words were only a reminder that whatever was happening between us could never work out. I would be dead the moment the king passed on, dead as in gone forever, dead as in forgotten, dead as in a faded memory to the few who knew me in life. 

“If you leave, Lance, you'll die. Please think about this carefully.” He reminded me as if it hadn't been on my mind since he'd first broke the news. How could I forget something like that? How could I possibly forget that I could die at any moment? Regardless, I didn't want him to know how worried I was. He could use that as leverage somehow, force me to marry him or something. I couldn't do that, not now, and not ever. I couldn't let a mistake I had made when I was younger determine how I spent the rest of my life. Quite honestly, I would rather die, but Keith didn't need to know that. It wasn't my intention to hurt him so I wanted to give him some false hope, at the very least.

“What other options do I have? And besides, I'm hopeful that the king will pull through. He's supposed to be immortal, after all.” It was my way of reassuring him that I'd be okay, through, we both knew my words were merely a formality. I wasn't okay, not even a little bit. But that was the life of a commoner, and regardless of where I was really born, poverty had claimed me as it's own.

“I just wish we could go back to how we used to be, you know? No fighting, no bloodpact, no death.” Keith sounded so disappointed and genuinely heartbroken at my declaration, but without meaning to come across as rude, I just snorted through my nose and chuckled. He looked shocked at my reaction to his sincere words but I couldn't help but crack up at the seriousness of his tone. Yeah, maybe the situation was important, but why make it out to be the end of the world? A peasant dying wasn't anything to bat an eye at.

“What, you want to go back to being idiot preteens doubling as secret lovers? Yeah, I'm sure it was great.” I scoffed and raised my eyebrows at him. At first, he was taken aback by my blunt response and maybe even a little hurt, but then came that defeated grin I'd been subconsciously waiting for. I mean, come on, a vampire-human romance with danger lurking around every corner? It was so cliche I'm surprised Shakespeare wasn't filing a lawsuit.

“Trust me, it was. We used to sit in the garden at night and talk for hours, then we'd go ballroom dancing at four in the morning. Oh, and the shit we used to do to Lotor… It's really no wonder her threw you across a hallway.” He laughed a bit, though it was more to himself than anything. He was reminiscing about old memories, ones I didn't have, and again, I felt left out of my own life. I got a little choked up at the thought of myself as a little boy, happy and carefree, but choked up in the way you would get at a wedding rather than a funeral. To know at least one version of me had had a good upbringing was so fucking bittersweet that it made me want to puke.

“That sounds like an amazing life.” I just muttered and bit my lip. I was kind of jealous of him, to be honest, and not because he was royalty or a vampire or because of his amazing hair. I was jealous because he knew me better than I knew myself, and I'd never admit it, but I wished nothing more than to have those sickeningly sweet, romantic adventures to look back on and laugh.

“It was your life, Lance, and I promise it's still in there somewhere.” This time, he sounded so unlike his usual self. Or, I suppose, maybe that sweet side of him was his usual self. Maybe the outbursts were out of heartbreak and on the inside, all he wanted was to have his best friend back.

“You miss me, huh?” I teased a bit when I caught the dreamy look on his face. I wondered what we were like together back then and what sort of trouble we'd gotten into. I wondered if we'd ever kissed, and considering we'd bound ourselves in a lifelong contract together, it didn't sound so unlikely.

“I can't deny that I do, but you'd be unhappy here in a castle full of vampires. And besides, the king sure as hell wouldn't be thrilled if he found out you were here. He'd do things to you a million times worth than death.” Keith said, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he was telling the truth. But at least I was there with him then, and at least I'd gotten to meet him one last time before I disappeared just like three years ago. This time, though, I'd be able to keep my memory of him and Pidge and Shiro, and even the mystery chef who cooked me the best food I'd ever eaten. Not to mention Lotor, though I wouldn't mind forgetting the pain of being tossed into a pillar. I wouldn't forget the gardens this time or how stunning the castle was, and most importantly, I was lucky enough to have remembered at least some aspects of my childhood and learned the truth about my parents. That was all I could ask for, and maybe my life wasn't perfect, and maybe I was closing in on the final act, but I was happy, nonetheless.

“Then… Well, I suppose I’ll leave tomorrow,” I said through a faint smile that played softly on my lips.

“The city is dangerous for humans, and the same thing goes for the forest. How would you feel about Shiro being your guide one last time?” Keith suggested, and it took me a moment to catch exactly what he'd said. 

“You knew about that?” I asked nervously, referring to Shiro guiding me to the gardens earlier that night. I guess I shouldn't have underestimated the great and powerful Keith Kogane; I just hoped Shiro wouldn't get in trouble for helping me. 

“I know a lot of things, Lance, so if you're ever in trouble again--” He chuckled and went to tap his temple just like he'd done in the garden. I doubted contacting him via brainwaves would even work from that far away, but for the sake of both our sanity, I waved him off and nodded my head. 

“I know, I know. And speaking of which, is that a normal thing that all vampires can do? Telepathy, I mean.” I wondered aloud. 

“No, just us. It was another result of the bloodpact. Honestly, probably the main reason we did it, as stupid as we were...” He trailed off, and as his voice died down and silence returned to the room, our eyes locked onto each other's and I couldn't seem to avert them. I wanted to say something, but I refused to break the tranquility of the moment. So, I used the bloodpact to my advantage on last time and sent him a message that I could only hope he received. I wasn't exactly used to the whole vampire magic thing, after all.

‘Even if I've forgotten all the moments we had together in the past, I won't forget you this time around. It was nice seeing you all grown up and princely.’

‘Lance, I really have missed that smile of yours.’ Keith's voice soon rang out in my ears and this time, it was nothing but warm and welcoming. His fangs poked out from behind his smiling lips and again, I found them more cute than frightening. They weren't like Lotor’s, they were the fangs of someone I could really call my best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm very sorry for the break. I've gone from a failing student with disciplinary issues to a striaght A, honor role student in NHS with a job and an AP class over the past couple of years and I'm having a hard time adjusting. I've been so busy and stressed and I've neglected my story, but after getting back to work, I've remembered how much it helps me relax. Next chapter is already written and it just needs a bit of editing so expect that soon. And thanks for one thousand hits! You are all so great ♡♡ (Ps, who's hype as hell for season four becasue omfg !! Also I just watched Keith's vlog and ¿¿¿¿¿ what did we do to deserve this¿¿¿)


	8. Forest of Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Shiro travel through the Forest of Ash and their friendship grows stronger when they encounter a strange paranormal phenomenon, however, before they can make it to the other side, their journey is halted by an unlikely enemy.

“Jesus Christ, Shiro, slow down.” 

I'd made good of my word and left the castle earlier that morning. After a tearful goodbye with Pidge and an even more heartbreaking departure with my stranger of a best friend, Shiro and I left for the city. That trip had been simple enough. With that scar of his and body like an ox, no one even thought twice about messing with Shiro and I, but the hard part arose once we entered the Forest of Ash. The place was huge, and despite the sun being at its peak in a cloudless sky, there was a haze of darkness cast over our surroundings. It was empty in the sense that I couldn't see a single person besides Shiro, well, as close to a person as he was, but I knew we weren't alone. I was getting worried. The more I thought about it, the more the reality sunk in that not even he could take on an entire pack of werewolves.

“Lance, unless you're planning on becoming dog food before the sun sets, I suggest you pick up the pace.” Shiro nagged from about ten feet in front of me, easily climbing over foliage and fallen trees on the barely visible dirt pathway while I found even the prolonged walking aspect to be a struggle.

“Oh, no, I hope a big, bad werewolf doesn't pop out of the bushes and maul me.” I mocked in an overly exaggerated accent and waved my hands out in front of me, hoping that pretending I wasn't worried would somehow calm my crippling anxiety. In actuality, I was glancing over my shoulder every two seconds and checking to make sure the knife Shiro had loaned me was still in the bag that hung across my chest. I was beyond terrified, because as it had been pointed out to me on multiple occasions, a boy like me couldn't survive a second alone when it came to being out of my element.

“Be serious. This place is dangerous, for me and especially for you. Strange things happen here that I can't quite explain, so be on your guard.” He reminded me sternly and slowed down a bit so I could catch up.

The two of us walked side by side for a while, talking about irrelevant things along with the occasional “what's the point in even living at this point?” But it was when silence fell upon us that I began to feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. A nerve wracking sensation spread through my body and lingered far longer than I would have liked. 

Then, when the tension in the air reached its peak, I stepped on a branch and nearly shit myself. I screamed, Shiro screamed, and I was sure my guardian angel was watching us from somewhere laughing their ass off. But as admittedly humorous as it was, when I calmed down again, it felt as though I'd stepped into another dimension. As my breathing regulated and before Shiro had a chance to make fun of me, I began to hear things that didn't quite belong. It was like that branch was a gateway to some other reality and suddenly, there was a series of unusual noises, like the wheels turning on a horse drawn carriage and the uniform voices of men, young and old. There were the sounds, and then there was the smell of gunpowder and fire, with a sickening hint of burning flesh and blood. I could almost taste the ash in my mouth, putrid like copper and cigars.

“Do you smell that?” I asked Shiro in a shrill and somewhat panicked voice, though he merely returned it with a burly laugh.

“That, my friend, is the reason they call this place the Forest of Ash.” He stopped for a moment and tilted his head towards the canopy of trees above us, but the lighthearted look on his face began to fade and a mournful sorrow washed over him.

“Traumatic events can become imprinted on the areas in which they took place. What you're experiencing now is the war of 1784. It's what separated humans and vampires, and this ground serves as a paranormal barricade between our two cultures. It's a time vortex, and right now, you're merely seeing into the past.” He explained shortly, leaving me more confused than when he had opened his mouth to begin with.

First of all… What?

I didn't have a chance to question it when soon, the sound of the carriages got close and the words of the men became somewhat decipherable. They carried through the trees as wistful echoes, and following the voices came full on apparitions. I turned my head and found that Shiro and I were not alone. There were dozens of men dressed in old-fashioned military uniforms, and leading them was a massive stallion pulling a wooden carriage.

As they marched towards Shiro and I, I realised that they weren't completely there. Their skin was white and their bodies were transparent; the whole army was like a wave of fog washing over the forest.

“Are they ghosts?” I asked Shiro in a low voice as they approached us, the horse and carriage passing followed closely by the men. I went to step aside, but the soldiers on the front line merely phased through me as if I were made of air. More and more men marched past and like the first, they passed through Shiro and I with no hesitation, refusing to disrupt the order of their ranks. 

“No, not ghosts. Hell, I bet some of these guys are still alive. I know one of them is, at least. Just think of them as moving pictures, Lance. Their images have been captured in this moment and will be replayed as long as this forest stands, maybe longer. But no, they're not conscious beings.” Shiro explained in the midst of the sea of men. 

The fact that they were simply a window to the past was an even more morbid idea than if they actually had been ghosts. They marched into battle over a hundred years ago, so I guess it was a good thing they couldn't think. I mean, how horrible would it be to be stuck in a time loop for the rest of eternity?

“Hey, you want to see my arm get blown off?” Shiro said suddenly in a strangely excited voice. I turned my head from the apparitions and stared at him with a perplexed look on my face.

“What?” I questioned, but Shiro just rolled his eyes and took my hand, dragging me through the soldiers in a way that felt disrespectful somehow. I knew they couldn't feel, see, or even hear me, but I wanted to preserve their memories as best I could. 

The army was bigger than I thought and spread far across the forest. Eventually, Shiro and I neared a clearing where he crouched behind some bordering trees. There were a few soldiers lingering around and it was eerily quiet, but not for long.

Suddenly, there was gunfire coming from where we had initially seen the soldiers. I flinched and noticed Shiro’s body tense up, but he didn't look surprised even as the gunfire got closer. None of this was happening in the present so there wasn't a need to be worried, but still… It was war, and war was never pretty.

“There I am.” Shiro spoke up and pointed across the field where a group of men emerged from within the trees. There were four of them, and even without that silver strip of hair or scar across his nose, I could point out Shiro in an instant.

“How old are you?” I asked in disbelief, looking back and forth between him and his younger self and seeing no other differences besides what I assumed were damages taken in battle.

“Old enough to be your grandfather's grandfather. Now watch.” He said abruptly and pointed again, though his voice was less playful this time. I watched his hand carefully as he lowered it again, and while I wasn't an expert, the amount of shaking seemed to be a dead giveaway as to his true emotions. 

Nonetheless, I turned to watch the image of a younger Shiro and his brothers in arms, marching quickly across a field as a barrage of bullets and cannon fire was encroaching upon them.

Then, something happened, something big, and I knew immediately where Shiro’s arm had gone. The young man leading their group had stepped on a landmine, one that triggered a massive explosion and sent them all flying.

I couldn't help but flinch and look away as the booming sound erupted in my ears; I could have sworn there was heat even from yards away and the ground felt as though it was really shaking. There was screaming, gut wrenching cries of pain for lost limbs and burn wounds as well as for the obviously deceased. More soldiers began to emerge from the trees on both sides of the clearing and it became a gruesome battle field.

I watched with squinted eyes though the smoke, the figures looking more and more real the longer I stared through them. Then again, what I was witnessing wasn't a madrigal or play. It had really happened in that very spot, just a hundred years in the past. That didn't make it any less relevant, though, maybe more so since it was now engraved in time itself.

When the smoke finally faded, there were mangled bodies everywhere. I assumed Shiro’s arm was mixed in somewhere but I wasn't exactly interested in looking for long enough to find it. While they may have been transparent and colorless, I could see where the blood had been spilled. The rival soldiers soon fanned out and left the corpses and those on the edge of life and death to rot, and they did. The mirage faded and the field returned to its original state of normality, just like the battle had never happened.

“Holy shit…” I breathed out and turned my back to the scene, leaning against the tree we'd hid behind with a dazed look on my face.

“Were you friends with those guys?” I asked in a soft voice, glancing over at him as he tore his eyes from the field and slouched beside me.

“You mean the burnt corpses? Yeah, they were my brothers. I wouldn't have made it out alive without them.” He sighed and started toying with the gears on his prosthetic. I assumed he didn't mean biologically, but the loss must have been just as great. While my mind was a bit scrambled, I did know a thing or two about the effects of tragedy. 

See, war brings people together as much as it tears them apart. The same goes with poverty and disease. All the bad things in life have something subtly good about them, and the good things? There are underlying negatives to them, ones that can jump out from the bushes and sink their teeth into your neck.

My mind wandered to the name I needed so desperately to forget, the one I shouldn't have been thinking of in that moment and I wondered which of those categories Keith fell under. Was he the war, the poverty and disease that could turn a group of soldiers into family? Or was he the warm smiles and beaming eyes that everyone fell for, all without noticing the knife behind his back?

I shook my head, begging my mind to let me free of that damn name. The prince was irrelevant to me at that point, so why did I care what kind of person he was? I should have been focusing on Shiro, the one who had clearly suffered his share throughout his lifetime.

“Were you human then? During the war, I mean.” I asked as a means of distracting myself, but that wasn't to say I wasn't genuinely curious. Actually, I was curious about a lot of things, I was just so preoccupied with all the bullshit in my own head that I hadn't bothered to ask.

“Yep, flesh and blood, just like you. After that explosion, I was left to die by the human army I had marched into war with. But it wasn't long before my nearly lifeless body was found by the vampires. For whatever reason, they decided to spare me and I was given a second chance at life by an enchantress in the castle. I've been there ever since, escorting and guarding and what not. I've been through this forest countless times and the war repeats itself each time, and I'll be honest, it's never really a fun thing to be forced to witness.” He smiled with a closed mouth pulled taut across his cheeks, eyes low to the ground and glossed over in deep thought. I took a chance and reached out to him, letting my arm fall around his broad shoulders in a means of comforting him. I wasn't used to touching people, let alone a vampire, but I didn't really see him as that. He was a friend, one who had shown me his vulnerable side and deserved to be regarded for his good traits, not the ones that deemed him a monster.

“You're brave, you know that?” I used the most confident voice I could muster and smiled, but hell if I'd be able to look him in the eyes while saying it. I had to admit that intimacy scared me, or maybe it was just my deep seeded bias, or the fact that he could punch me in the face and I'd still think he was attractive.

“You're as brave as I ever was, kid.” He returned and nudged me a bit, but his voice urged a seriousness that I didn't know how to take.

Brave? No, I was as far from brave as I could get. I ran from my problems and emotions, and even worse than that, I ran from my past.

“I wouldn't say--” I began to argue with him when he suddenly perked up and pulled away from me. I opened my mouth to question it but he put his finger to his lips and slowly stood from the ground. I stood as well but he looked like he could sense something I couldn't, so I just trusted his instincts and followed in his footsteps.

Then, I began to hear what he could hear, and feel what he could feel as it neared us. There was rustling in the leaves surrounding us, and while it was faint, it wasn't hard to tell that it was footsteps. I turned so that Shiro and I could stand back to back and he pulled a gun from God knows where, pointing it towards the trees with his finger on the trigger. We stepped slowly back into the clearing so we could see from all sides and avoid whoever the hell was coming from the woods, however, that seemed to be their plan.

“Shiro…” I called to him in a soft and frail voice as figures emerged from all around us. Whoever was approaching was beginning to push us towards the center of the field. With our backs pressed against each others’, Shiro reached his hand back and took mine for a moment, squeezing it just enough to assure me that he could handle this. Though, I don't think he anticipated a small army of royal guards to be our enemy in this dispute, ones armed with rifles and swords with faces fit to kill.

“Are these like the apparitions from earlier?” I asked in a hushed voice, clinging onto that last bit of hope before the reality sunk in.

“No, Lance.” His words were serious and had a dangerous edge, and it was then that I began my descent into panic. 

“What's going on here?” Shiro finally spoke to the guards as they neared us, “The prince has given me specific authority to protect this human at all costs.”

His threat held no merit, and neither did the gun in his hand. The men refused to break their order until Shiro and I were completely surrounded on all sides by vampires from the castle. There was a lot wrong with that, a lot I didn't understand. Had Keith sent them? Why were they after Shiro and I to begin with?

Well, it all seemed to fall into place when from the forest came a large, white horse. The guards parted for it's rider, one I'd hoped to never run into again. The nobleman Lotor had led this army to us, but he wasn't alone. An old woman rode up on an black horse beside him, a cloak covering her sharp and cat-like eyes. She stared at me, then lifted the corners of her lips to reveal a harsh, yellow set of fangs.

“Good to see you again, Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyee uh I'm very sorry. I've been unmotivated to do anything I used to enjoy because of my depression :))))) but good news, i have another chapter finished after this so expect that very soon. Thanks for reading !


	9. Deal With the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes a deal that will change the fate of the kingdom, but between hurting the one he loves and jeopardizing his own future, only time will tell if he will come to regret this risky decision.

Outnumbered and overpowered-- as it stood, Shiro and I were dead meat. It was all thanks to that bastard Lotor and his hag of a mother whose name I remembered immediately upon seeing her face. Haggar was the enchantress who erased my memory, although, she clearly hadn't been very thorough if I knew that. Despite my close connection to her, Shiro was the one who became the most uneasy in her presence. I wondered why he'd staggered back the moment he caught sight of her, but my question was soon answered when her gaze slipped from me to him.

“And you, too, Shirogane. How's the arm holding up?” It wasn't a sincere question in the slightest, almost mocking. Shiro emitted a low growl and stepped towards her and her horse, although Lotor wasn't a fan of the tension between them and cleared his throat.

“I apologize, but we don't have time to play at the moment. You'll have your chance at vengeance, Shiro, but right now…” Lotor looked down to the guard on his left and spoke with no remorse, “I don't want him dead so use your bayard, but feel free to make it hurt.”

“The prince will have you all executed for treason if you take another step!” Shiro cocked his gun and pushed me behind him, although I had a feeling he couldn't handle all these men at once. They advanced like mindless zombies towards us, and Shiro had no choice but to start shooting. 

I closed my eyes each time the gun fired, but it seemed as though Lotor’s little makeshift army of traitors were under a spell of some sort. They didn't quit, not until one of the guards had plunged his bayard into Shiro’s right side. I peeled my eyes open and watched in shock as he pulled the drenched blade back and used the butt of his gun to knock Shiro unconscious. I was frozen in place aside from my twitching hands, just like a statue as I stared at Shiro’s motionless body in the grass. Then, a guard came for me as well, kicking in the back of my knees so I was forced to the ground as he held my head up by my hair.

“There, now that he's out of the way,” Lotor said as he climbed from his horse and sauntered towards me, stopping only a few feet in front of me and leaning down to my level, “let us get to businesses, shall we?”

“Fuck you, you worthless piece of garbage.” My voice cracked as I spoke, fear and anger battling to take center stage. Whether it was a good or bad thing, anger won, and I did what I knew best and spit in his face. He flinched and frantically wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, standing and staggering away from me.

“What are you, a fucking camel?” He sneered and cocked an eyebrow, “Look, I'm not here to make you an enemy, Lance.”

“You've done a pretty shit job, then.” I returned and glanced over at Shiro. I knew he'd be okay; not only was he a vampire but he'd been through a hell of a lot worse, though, I was still pissed, respectively. He was my friend, and a great man, regardless. These traitors didn't know who they were messing with. The prince would have their heads, and at the thought of Keith, I remembered in a moment of clarity that I had the ability to communicate with him through my thoughts. I felt dumb for not doing it sooner but more so that the idea hadn't even crossed my mind. He was the only one that could help me, so I closed my eyes and made my best attempt to reach him.

“Keith! Keith, something's happened with Lotor… Shiro’s hurt and this witch lady is planning on--” I began to call for him, hoping I wasn't too far away when a voice suddenly popped into my head, though, it wasn't Keith's voice like I'd expected.

“I'm not a witch, you little pest. Did you think I wouldn't have planned for this? For you to call on your little prince to save you?” It was Haggar, no doubt about it. Strangely enough, I remembered her quite well, like it was just yesterday she was stealing my memories and turning me into a shell of a person. I looked past Lotor and up at her where she was perched on her horse, and she just smiled again like the whole thing was hilarious to her. I'm sure it was. I'm sure the sick bitch fed off of shit like this.

“Trust me, Lance, there's nothing you can do now but comply with us.” She spoke aloud this time with that scratchy, harsh voice of hers and I couldn't help the repulsed look I gave her.

“Mother,” Lotor whined, “don't have any conversations I can’t hear. How I supposed to know what you're saying?” 

Haggar rolled her eyes and opened her mouth most likely to scold her son, but I wasn't in the mood to listen to their family bantering. 

“Cut the shit and tell me what you want.” I demanded from the ground, trying to make up for where I stood physically with my voice.

“Alright, alright, calm down, little runt.” Lotor sighed and crouched to my level again. I could see he was trying his best to keep calm, doing everything in his power not to punch me in the face for all the things I'd supposedly done to him as a child. I knew this was important, enough so that he'd risk injuring a royal guard appointed by the prince. I knew he wouldn't really kill Shiro, and that he was just doing this to scare me. He needed me to be afraid enough so that I would submit to him, and I was, so with no other foreseeable options, I did. I let him get close and stopped fighting back, something I should have done from the very beginning. He smiled when my shoulders slumped and it was evident in my eyes that I was done fighting. So, with that being said, he made his proclamation.

“I need to get rid of the prince, Lance, and if you help me, I'll have my mother restore your memory in full and reverse the blood pact you made with Keith.”

He finished speaking and my mouth hung open in shock. I didn't know what to say or how to say it, and while I knew Lotor was a bad guy, I never could have expected this from him. It took me a moment to process what he'd put on the table and even then it was hard to believe. Get rid of Keith and get my memory back, or decline Lotor’s offer and ultimately fall on the day of the king’s death.

“Get… Get rid of...?” I stuttered and stared at Lotor with wide eyes, hoping I'd just heard him wrong or something. As much as I wanted to live, I couldn't hurt someone, especially not Keith.

“Oh, no, not kill,” he scoffed, “I simply mean to make him ineligible for the throne. As you may have heard, the king is becoming exponentially weaker. Soon, Keith will take his place as ruler despite his young age. However, it has become clear to me that Keith is unmotivated and not interested in becoming King. I fear for the kingdom's future, which is why I plan to take his place and become the next great ruler of our nation.”

It wasn't so bad when he put it that way. Making him ineligible was a lot better than killing him, but I knew it was still undoubtedly a terrible and dishonest thing to do for the sake of selfishness. And besides, Lotor’s plan seemed to have a few holes in it that didn't quite fit. 

“Even if I agreed, you're no more eligible for the throne than I am. There's no way the king would allow you to take over,” I said, expecting him to become frustrated with my objections, but instead, he just smiled.

“On the contrary, my friend, but you mustn't worry. I have everything planned out to the last detail, that is, if you agree to my conditions.”

I shouldn't have even considered it, but to be fair, I was a criminal. Maybe I hadn't been my whole life, but I was definitely taking on the lifestyle. I was a street rat, and rats do what they can to survive. So I took the bait, feeding into his scheme just as he knew I would.

“What conditions?” I questioned.

“Go back to the castle. Keep him distracted while I play my part and most importantly, I need you to turn Keith against his own kind. He's already in love with you, Lance, whether he knows it or not, and I know he'd do anything for you. I need you to make him hate the blood in his body, hate his father and the castle he grew up in. Form a rebellion, start a war-- just make sure Keith won't fight for the crown when I take it. That blood pact that exiled you from the castle will be obliterated; you'll be free.”

He finished speaking and I could hardly utter a single word. I didn't know what to say, I mean, what could I say? It made me sick that I was considering it, but I was. I had given up the hope of restoring my memory so long ago and suddenly it was back on the table. I would get my memory back, and not only that, but I would get to see Keith again, the man who supposedly loved me. 

“No one gets hurt?” I asked Lotor who merely nodded with a crooked grin on his lips.

“I'll live and retain my memory?” Again, he nodded.

“What about Shiro?” That's when I got serious and glanced towards my unconscious body guard laying in the grass.

“My mother will heal him and make sure he doesn't remember why he was unconscious to begin with. If he asks, you'll get a chance to practice your deception skills.” Lotor winked and put his hand on my shoulder as the guard finally let go of my hair. I guess he figured I was done fighting. Well, he was right.

“I'm not sure about this; I don't want to hurt anyone. How do I know you aren't lying to me?” I ask softly as he began to lean towards me, the look in his eyes something I knew I couldn't trust. And yet, I didn't deny him, because as I'd come to understand, I was merely a rat.

“Trust me on this, Lance. It'll all work in the end. Just do as I say and you'll be able to remember everything that's been taken from you. I love this kingdom more than anything in the world and I promise I will take care of it.” Lies. Pretty lies wrapped up in a red, lace bow. But I accepted it blindly simply because I wanted it to be the truth. Lotor leaned down to my ear and placed his cold hand against my cheek, and in a sharp and breathy voice asked, “So, what is it, peasant boy?”

And so I answered. 

“I'm in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update to make up for being a piece of shit ;) also, i tried to just wait it out but tbh if yall comment I'd prolly be a little more motivated to write jus sayinnnn


	10. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance returns to the beloved garden of the prince on the night of his return, but he's met with heartbreak and betrayal in place of the loving welcome he dreamed of. He decides to fight fire with fire, but will he get burned in the process?

Keith didn't frighten me, and yet, as I waited for him in the garden on the night of my unexpected return, my nerves got the better of me and I couldn't keep from shaking. I could feel him coming and I'm sure he felt the same from me, although, I hadn't told him I was coming back. I was sure he'd be shocked to see my face back in the castle so soon. Hopefully he'd be happy, though, I wanted him to smile when he saw me more than anything in the world.

“Lance?” I heard his voice come from seemingly nowhere, like a black cat in the dark of night, he'd snuck up on me with no warning. I spun on my heel to face him and without any hesitation, he threw his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.

“It is you. I thought I was dreaming.” His voice was muffled as he dug his face into my shoulder. I just stood there with my hands clenched at my side, and I'm sure my face was fluorescent by then. Keith didn't let go, either, his embrace got tighter and I think he forgot for a moment that he was a vampire and I weighed about as much as a small goat.

“Uhm, Keith?” I choked out in a strained voice and wrigled in his grasp like a fish on land. He immediately pulled away and cleared his throat when he realized I couldn't breathe. I liked it, though. Keith was the type of person I'd stop breathing for any day.

“Sorry, I forgot how weak you really are.” He sneered with the corners of his lips pulled into a boyish smirk as I put my hand over my chest and gasped. 

“How dare you? I'll have you know, I’m only slightly below the average strength of a human being--” I began to rant to him when I was cut off by a gloved finger to my lips.

“A little girl, maybe.” He cocked another smile and I wanted so badly to just lean in and wipe that smirk right off his face. But I couldn't, not under those circumstances. I could hardly even return the smile with the amount of guilt bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I think he noticed this, my uncertainty and nervous eyes, but he took it as mere shyness and pulled his finger from my lips.

“I missed you, Lance. When you left, it felt the same as when we were kids and I thought I'd truly never see you again.” He spoke softly as he stared down at his feet and I'm certain my heart shattered then and there. I couldn't take it. There was no way I could spend potential months lying to him.

“So, why are you here, Lance? What brought you home?” His speech slowed, light and airy yet sensual and I felt chills up my spine as he stepped towards me.

“We were in the forest when Shiro and I were attacked by some low life bandits. He was stabbed and they roughed me up a bit but left soon after that. Being in that situation made me realise how much I really need you, Keith, so I came back.” I lied, suppressing my morality and hoping he couldn't tell. I was glad I was back, honestly, but would I be back had it not been for Lotor and his mother? No way in hell. It was a whole new level of dangerous even living on the streets hadn't prepared me for.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” He cooed and took another step, so close I could smell him, like peppermint and vanilla with a hint of pumpkin spice, “I'm so sorry, Lance. And what about Shiro?” Everything about him was so elegant, every last detail perfected by his maker, whoever that may have been. It was almost intimidating, because as he easily compared to an angel, I was a dirty liar, at best.

“No, don't be. Shiro made it out okay and they hardly touched me.” I smiled, though my lips were battling to turn in the other direction. Keith's, on the other hand, were getting closer and closer to me as we talked. 

“Still, I should've been with you.” Again, he got closer, but I didn't feel as frightened as I had so many times before when he was near me. It was wrong, I was using him, but I let his hand travel up the back of my neck. “Well, as terrible as it is, I owe those thieves my thanks for bringing you back to me.”

He leaned in and my eyes squeezed shut on instinct. It felt like there was energy in the air, literal, physical energy. His palm pressed softly on neck, pulling me towards him as his other hand slid to my lower back. We were going to kiss. The prince was actually going to kill me, and I would have been ready, too. That is, had Keith not caught a glimpse of the toxic reality of the situation.

He pulled away suddenly and stepped back as he adjusted his coat. He cleared his throat, and I? My face turned bright red, any hint of a smile left on my lips faded and my waning heart ultimately combusted. 

“But there are issues with you staying here, Lance.” I knew this was coming, it was only fair, but that didn't mean I was happy about Keith's sudden disposition. 

“I… I can't tarnish my reputation by having a human at my side. My father is sick and I'll be crowned King soon, I have to respect that. I have to respect my place, Lance, and you should too. I need you to understand that I love you, but I can't cling to you nor you to I. We're different people now.”

And with those harsh words, I no longer felt so bad about coming back under such circumstances. My face dropped and my first instinct was to fight back, and so I did, but I had to practically force myself not to punch him in his stupid, pretty face.

“Tarnish? Make up your mind, Keith, what am I to you? You say you love me and yet you act as if I'm nothing more than the rust on your crown.” I spat and put up my defences, slipping into combat mode so fast I hadn’t had a chance to arm myself for the rebuttal.

“Lance, please. You know what I mean. You're a human who lived on the streets; I'm the Prince, for God's sake. You must see my dilemma.” He tried to backtrack and ended up taking two more steps in the wrong direction. I was mad at that point, sad, broken, and confused. I had been feeling those things quite a lot lately, and there wasn't much I could think to blame it on aside from Keith and the castle.

“Dilemma? Poor fucking you, Keith. I'm sorry I'm such a dilemma to you, but how the hell do you think I feel? Being rejected by you, of all people; the only one who's ever told me they loved me can't even stand to kiss me.” He looked at me with innocent eyes, but I no longer saw them as that. Keith was a selfish man, a ruinous man with no idea what sort of power he had. 

“Fuck you, Keith.” I scoffed and shook my head, “To think I loved such a heartless person.”

“Lance, please--”

“And to think I was so sure you'd be happy to see me. All you're worried about is your reputation; I thought you were better than this. But I guess you're right. We're different people now so what the hell do I know?”

He said nothing, just a silence reserved for those who knew they were guilty. What bothered me most was that he knew what he was doing was wrong and yet didn't apologize, but then again, I couldn’t argue that I was much better. If he chose being a prince over being with a scum like me, I couldn't really blame him, as disheartening as it was. I had nothing more to lose at that point, so I turned with sobriety and left him in that fateful garden without a second though. I was so beyond done, done with Keith and done with love. I wished I had just let Lotor have his way with me instead of making that idiotic deal. Let me be clear, I regretted it and I knew it was shitty, but honestly, I was fighting fire with fire and I was well aware of the consequences.

I ended up in an uncharted corridor, my feet mindlessly replacing each other as I followed my absent thoughts. I was in a state of emotional emptiness, like I had no control and couldn't smile even if there were a gun to my head. I was a zombie, but it wasn't my brain that was infected, rather my heart. 

I felt so helplessly alone. Before, all I concerned myself with was surviving, but since day one in the castle, I'd learned of life’s other virtues. I'd had the smallest taste of friendship and now all I wanted was someone I could rely on and confide in. I found myself becoming jealous of all those old married couple in my village, toddlers running around their feet and teenagers helping run their shops. I used to scoff at them. I used to tell myself I didn’t need anyone else to get by, and now? Now the thought of sleeping by myself for the rest of my life made me sick. But Keith had dropped the ball on what I thought was our mutual pining. Although, it wasn't the first time I was wrong about a person, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. More than anyone else, I had been wrong about myself.  
I always prided myself on the fact that I hadn't let my circumstances define who I was as a person. I never let my hardships shape me into someone negative, I was always kind and chivalrous, especially to Miss Holt back at the village. But that had all changed. I was a liar now, a scam artist whose masterpiece could potentially bring the end of a kingdom. But I didn't stop, I couldn't, it felt as though I was the Devil's personal marionette. 

“Lance.” And then he appeared. Lotor stepped from a doorway dressed in a thin silk night shirt and bottoms. He wasn't the man I wanted to see, not even close. But he was a man, at least, and I needed someone, literally anyone in that moment. I felt rejected, unloved, completely untouchable and I needed so desperately to be proved wrong. I needed to be close to someone, to feel someone's warmth, and if my first choice had left me out to dry, my only other option was to settle. Beggars can't be choosers, after all, and I was senselessly desperate. My morality dissolved with the growing heat in my stomach. It was strange, almost unnatural, but I was drawn to the man like the past didn't exist, like he hadn't fucked me over and ruined what little life I had remaining.

“Lotor.” I sighed and slowly allowed the idea of sleeping with him to trickle into my head. At first, I wanted to push the thought away, but the more I blurred away his face and muted out that arrogant voice of his, the easier it was to give into temptation. Lotor seemed to read my mind, and he was definitely no better than I was. He stepped forward and I did the same, eventually throwing my body into the rebound as a means of cooling the seething pain of rejection. It didn't feel like me, my conscience was screaming to stop before I did something I would regret again that night. But Keith hurt me, he hurt me bad, and I needed to do this in order to prove he wasn't any better than I was.

Afterall, I was a rat, a liar, just a noble turned peasant boy in a constant state of confusion, and I proved all of that the moment my lips touched Lotor’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops oops oops season 5 fucked me up


	11. The Red Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, in a desperate panic with blood trailing after him, bounds into the midst of a very special gathering.

No love, no honest connection, just blind lust. Lotor was rough, he knew what he wanted and he would have it. It was odd to me that he wasn't shocked in the slightest when I came onto him. It was like he anticipated it, like he’d been waiting for me there before even I knew where I was going. When I made the bold move of kissing someone I didn't doubt wanted to kill me, I hadn't expected him to grab the back of my neck and pull me closer or drag me back to his bedroom. It was almost like I'd been lured to him, like he was a wolf waiting in the thicket for his unsuspecting and emotionally vulnerable rabbit. I wished I had seen how suspicious it was then, but my brain wasn't necessarily the only part of my body calling the shots. 

“How risqué, Lance. I'd never have pegged you as a dog, but how else must you have made your way on the streets?” His hands harshly groped my waste and bottom. I didn't like it, I didn't want him. The only person I wanted touching me was Keith, and Lotor was so far from that princely man. It made me sick thinking of how he would view me if he ever found out. Would he think I had no morality? That I was no better than a city whore who slept with anyone for any number of reasons? Well, I wasn't a whore, if you could even call a man such a thing, but did I even have morality? What the hell was I doing with my life? 

“I feel nothing for you, Lotor. Know that before this goes any further.” I muttered as his sloppy lips trailed down my neck. 

We were in his bedroom and it was exactly like you'd imagine it to be, Lotor being a borderline sadist, that is. The walls were a dark burgundy lit dimly by sparse candles and a fireplace, black furniture, black everything. It made me wonder what Keith's bedroom must have looked like. Or perhaps, what he would look like curled up in bed on a rainy night with tea on his bedside. I then let my mind wander to what he wore to bed, because I was sure he couldn't wear that vest all the time. I wondered what Keith would look like a few years from now, smiling at me as I pushed through the doors to greet him with a tray of scones and earl grey. I wanted that. I wanted Keith, not this monster with a pretty face. Hell, I couldn't even call it pretty knowing what lurked in that brain of his.

“You really think I need a peasant’s approval?” He stopped to scoff at me for a split second before returning his mouth to my neck where his fangs hovered dangerous close. I had almost let the fact that he was akin to demons slip my mind, and that key detail was enough to push me to my breaking point. 

“God, what am I doing? This isn't right.” I groaned and reached up to push Lotor away, but he had other ideas. Like I said, he knew what he wanted and he would have it. Lotor was spoiled like that, so used to ringing a bell and having whatever he wanted in seconds. 

“God won't answer for you now.” My eyes went wide as Lotor gripped my wrists and the encounter quickly shifted from scandalous to deadly.

“Lotor, no. I- I changed my mind.” I raised my voice and tried to be firm, but the back of my knees soon hit the edge of the bed and I fell back. 

“Like I said, I don't need your approval.” At that point I realized exactly what I was to him: a pawn. Did I care what a piece of shit like him thought of me? No, but I didn't appreciate being forced against my will to drop to my knees for him.

“This wasn't part of the deal, Lotor, let go of me.” I was pleading with him, hoping to tap into any ounce of morality that he may have had left in his body.

“You agreed to do as I say, did you not?” He cooed. Well, he may have been stronger, but I knew I must have had more of a will to fight, at least. I mean, to recruit a human to do your dirty work was pathetic.

I looked Lotor dead in the eyes and practically growled the words, “get off,” but I should've figured it was pointless. 

I've read so many stories… Well, I've heard countless of them from countless people as I meandered my way around town each day, praying to God someone would pity me. Stories are written about special people, strong people, powerful people. Who was I to be blessed with such an exciting life and yet never do anything worth talking about? I was boring and predictable, never had I been a hero. In fact, I relied on others more than I knew how to rely on myself. I was just a pitiful little leech and that's all I would ever be. Even then, all I wanted to do was call for Keith to come rescue me, but what would that make me? I didn't want to be weak, I hated feeling like I needed others to survive in this world.

I wanted to be the hero my children would someday celebrate, or maybe even the villain others would warn their children of. But regardless of whether I was loved or hated, I wanted to be something. My first step was getting the hell away from Lotor until he came to his senses. After that, I'd have to decide whether I would continue on the path of deception and retain my memory or risk everything to be the good guy. That came later, though, step one was the only thing on my mind in that moment.

So, with little forethought, I mustered all the strength in my body and swung my leg up towards the space between his legs. Of course, kicking a vampire in the dick had its obvious consequences. I suppose I deserved it, but that didn't mean I had a good attitude about the immediate aftermath.

Within milliseconds, he had his hand entangled in the hair on the back of my head and I suddenly felt a distinctly sharp pain in my neck. 

-

I looked poetic, somehow, stumbling down a dim corridor to the soft sound of a grand piano somewhere in the distance. Blood stained silk worn by a dead man walking, puncture wounds in his neck the size of bullet holes… I could imagine a painting of that very scene. But as beautiful as it was to an artistic mind, I felt as though my soul was leaking from my body into crimson stains on the polished, stone floor. The walls around me twisted and spun, my head pounding like I'd just drunk ten sailors or one wives worth of rum. I had my hand pressed against my neck and the other wrapped tightly around a fire iron, one with not my blood lining it's edges, but Lotor’s.

Everything leading up to that moment was a blur, but I do know one thing: I had stabbed him in the stomach. 

Yeah, I know I'm an idiot, but I'm an idiot who keeps his word. I told myself I would get out of that situation without Kieth or anyone else's help and I did, even if it meant the next time I saw Lotor there was a good chance he would pull my head off my body. I suppose I'd find out soon enough, though, because as soon as I began to feel momentarily safe, I heard heavy footsteps and exasperated panting coming down the hall.

I cursed and broke into a wobbly sprint; my teeth were chattering and my knees buckled everytime I bent them. I was bleeding heavily and God knows what kind of internal injuries I was ignoring, but the pain was the only thing keeping me alert. I ran until that distant hum of a piano became loud and present, right up until I reached a massive door made of dark mahogany that was open just a crack, letting golden light spill into the dim hallway. I knew that door well; it lead to the throne room where a special gathering was taking place that very night.

The Blood Ball wasn't at all what I had imagined, mostly due to the fact that I had refused to address it for more than two seconds in my head before that moment. It was strangely elegant, humans dressed in simple gowns and vampires dressed head to toe in cashmere, velvet, and fur. They danced with smiles on their faces and I couldn't understand how this could possibly lead to the taking of human blood. I wished I could admire it for longer or just try to make sense of the scene from the doorway, but I was a bit pressed for time in that moment.

Lotor came bounding after me like a wild dog, and with no other options, I leapt into the ballroom with legs as uncertain as a newborn deer’s.

“Stop him!” Lotor screamed in a rich accent but with little authority compared to the voice that resonated next.

No one stopped me, they dared not lay their hands on such a filthy stranger. The piano came to a halt and all that could be heard were the sets of booming feet sprinting as fast as they could through the crowd of bothered nobility. The vampires gasped and practically lunged out of the way as if I were diseased, but in their defense, I wouldn't want a peasant’s blood ruining my ensemble either. However, I caught the faces of a few of those in simple garb, those I was positive were human, and couldn't describe their looks as anything but sympathetic. 

They knew what it was like to feel helpless and fearful, to bleed for the pleasure of monsters. But from the looks on their faces,smiles with the underlying message screaming “help us,” it was like a mass case of Stockholm syndrome. From what I understood about the bloodball, vampires and the human servants in the castle dolled themselves up and met for a gathering. They ate and danced with one another in peace, but following the ceremony, the vampires would lead their human guest back to their quarters and… Well, I suppose that much was obvious. I had covered the ball part of it, and that left only blood.

Then, as I was scanning my surroundings and analyzing every face my eyes fell upon, a calm hand on my wrist sent me falling flat on the floor. It was sudden and didn't hurt right away, but as my skull thudded against the marble tile, a ringing built up in my head and everything else became dull and muted. The fire iron clattered against the floor and sent blood flying in all directions, this was followed closely by the ear piercing screams of those whose clothing now had red splashed across their torsos.

It felt as though my soul was still running while my body had been jerked back with the force of a racing horse. I knew before I even opened my eyes that my shoulder had been dislocated, then looked up with tears in my eyes to meet the unreadable face of none other than King Kogane.

“Lance, I've heard rumors of your return.”

His voice was unforgettable, even for me, and while I hadn't been able to picture his face before that moment, when my eyes finally met his, it wasn't hard to see the similarities he shared with Keith. I was in a state of awe, but whether it was because I was laying before the king or because I was laying before the man that had exiled me despite once loving me like a son, I wasn't sure.

“Father, no! Don't hurt him--” Keith was running from his throne, pushing and shoving to reach us but too late to make much of a difference. I shouldn't have been so shocked to see him, he was a vampire after all, but it made me sick thinking of him drinking a human's blood. Regardless, the king held up an arm and Keith collided into his outstretched palm; he was sick, and yet the force sent Keith stumbling backwards onto the floor where dancers leap out of his way.

“Keith--” I called after him, but my shrill cry was then replaced with gasping breaths as the king wrapped his hand around my throat and pulled me to my feet. I couldn't move the fingers on my left hand as it dangled at my side, it felt like my wrist had been crushed beneath the wheel of a carriage and I had a hard time focusing on anything but that. A hard time, but not an impossible time. Soon, he leaned in so no one would hear, but his voice rang out loud and clear to me as he whispered in my ear.

“Why did you come back here, Lance? To seduce my son? To find closure? Well I'm afraid you've wasted your time--” Keith was back at the King’s side, hitting his back with closed fists and tugging at his clothing like a child. It was pointless, the king was a god compared to any of the men in that room, including Keith.

“Don't you dare say another word to him!” His voice was shaking and his eyes were glossed over with guilt, but several guards soon emerged from the crowd and pried him away from his father. I couldn't breathe, I could hardly even see at that point. I looked at Keith with a distant stare as he was dragged off to god knows where. I guess he really wasn't as strong as I thought, but I didn't mind. If anything, it made me happy to know that even he had his weaknesses. But at the same time, if he couldn't even protect himself, how on earth was I supposed to make it out of that castle alive? Quite frankly, what the king said next made me wonder of I even wanted to.

“You see, Lance, Keith is engaged to the princess of Altea and will be married off this summer. You lost your chance a long time ago.”

I didn't say a single word as Lotor appeared at my side with a dark stain on his stomach and grabbed me by the collar. I was being passed back and forth between two unimaginable forces like a ragdoll, and it made sense considering I acted just like one.I remained unblinking as Lotor yelled in my face while the king began shouting orders. I wasn't listening, not in the slightest. Of course, my mind was on Keith's betrayal and that alone. I should have expected it from him, I should have known he'd gotten over me. He was the damn prince, after all, I should have known he'd led me on, and if nothing else, I should have fucking known he couldn't love a man. 

Keith was a liar, a con artist, and I hoped to god I'd never have to see his face again. I'd been caught in his trap like a rat, so what was I to do then? There were no more scapegoats or hidden allies. I assumed the deal I had made with Lotor had been compromised, which meant all of that suffering wasn't even worth shit. All I wanted was to remember my father's voice, my mother's soothing songs, and Keith and I’s friendship. I wanted to remember my favorite plays and painting and what I would have done on a rainy day ten years ago. I wondered what my old self would have done in this situation. Would a young me have even made it this far? Although, considering Keith had actually loved me back then, I doubted I would have even gotten myself into that situation to begin with. 

But it didn't matter, nothing mattered. 

“Lance, my friend, you've made a dire mistake. Didn't anyone ever tell you never to tease a vampire? We don't handle rejection well,” Lotor spoke as I felt a familiar strip of leather around my neck, “Now look who's back in the doghouse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so double update bcs im in a voltron mood obvi. Also i know lance seems ooc but just trust me there's a reason for everything , okie? Cool thanks. Alsooooo, i really love reading your comments so don't be shy my frens ♡


	12. Stars Don't Live Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After falling deeper into the lawless land of insanity, Lance faces the harsh consequences of his actions and is forced to put his life into perspective, but are these abrupt revelations too little too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Important note at the end, please read, thank you ♡)

“Pidge, I'm so fucking scared.” My bruised and battered face was pressed again rusty bars, desperation wrinkling my skin and greying my hair. 

“I know, Lance, we'll get you out of here come tomorrow morning.” She was just as desperate as I was, though her struggle was in keeping me from losing what little sanity I had left rather than staying alive. The rats in my cell chewed on my clothes while I slept, so maybe I'd gotten scabies or the plague. I sweat in the cold and often saw figures that weren't really there. Worse than that, I feared I was turning into one of those monsters after that night with Lotor. Shiro had told me countless times that that wasn't how that worked, but I still felt off. I could only imagine how those who had their blood taken weekly must have felt. Constantly squirming like there was a parasite inside them… It wasn't fair that they lived their lives in such a way, and I could finally understand that. 

“What if you can't make it in time? What if something stops you before morning?” I worried for not only my life, but for theirs. If they were caught helping me, the first human executed since the war, it was over for all of us. I was seen as dangerous, hostile, and my charges had tallied up to equal that of a serial killers. Was it fair? No, but I couldn't deny that it was my fault.

“Lance, it'll be okay. We won't let them hurt you. We have connections--” Shiro spoke from the doorway where he kept lookout, glancing over his shoulder to meet my tired face.

“You don't think the king has more? He's connected to everyone in this damn castle. I'm petrified, Shiro. I feel so left in the dark; what's happening out there? Where's Keith? And why have I not heard a single thing from Lotor since I was taken away?” I begged and pleaded with him to clear my mind, but it seemed the answers would only further frustrate me.

“We have everything handled, Lance. Everyone I know and trust is working their asses off trying to get you saved. You made an impact at the Blood Ball, you have followers now.” He tried to assure me and began to turn back as if I would have been satisfied with such a vague answer.

“What are you talking about? I didn't even do anything.” I looked to the floor and sauntered back, knowing that whatever the public saw me as was wrong. I wasn't a hero, but I sure as hell wasn't the villain they planned to execute tomorrow morning. 

“You stabbed Lotor and outran him, you were singled out by the king himself and kicked and screamed as they dragged you away. No human has ever done that, Lance. No human has ever stood up to us the way that you did. You've started a revolution--” He began with excitement crinkling the corners of his eyes. He was proud of me, honored to be assisting me, from what I could tell, but that made me feel so unbelievably guilty. 

I thought of Lotor and our deaI and how much I really deserved to die tomorrow morning, but my instincts were to survive, regardless of what I deserved. Still, I couldn't help but question what would happen if I lived. Would I still be expected to continue the rebellion with Keith at my side? Or had the night of the blood ball corrupted my deal with Lotor? I refused to lift my gaze from my muddied bare feet and spoke so low I could hardly be heard.

“I need to speak to Lotor.” I wouldn't allow him to further praise the low life that I was. I needed them to leave so I could actually address the situation I had dug myself into, I mean, how could I look into Pidge’s eyes and justify helping a monster take the throne?

“What? Why?” Shiro’s head whipped around as he hurried from his post at the dungeons entrance to the bars of my cell. He must have thought I'd lost my mind completely, but the seriousness of my stare and stance said otherwise. 

“Please, just bring him to me.” I let up the act when he seemed unconvinced and softened my face, trying to get him to sympathize with me, at the very least. He tilted his head like a lost dog, begging me to explain to him what the hell was going on and why I was being secretive to the only people who really cared about me. But I didn't, and he knew I wouldn't anytime soon.

“Don't get yourself killed,” he said with defeat hollowing his voice and took a very weary Pidge by her hand, “Come on, Love.” 

I sighed as they left and ran my hand through my hair. I just needed a little more time, if they could just stick with me for a little while longer, I'd prove to them that everything would be okay. A rebellion, even a fake one, would spark hope in humankind, I'd get my memory back, Lotor would be satisfied, and better yet, I would live. It had been a fair deal, it was just too bad I'd ruined it.

“Hello, hangman.” After what felt like hours, I heard Lotor’s heeled boots clicked against the stone floor as he sauntered towards my cell. He had an arrogant smirk on his face like he was betting on the fact that I would call for him, but all that pride felt undeserved when I noticed his limp. I knew I'd done it, and at the very least, it put us on a relatively even playing field. 

“I'm not dying tomorrow, Lotor.” I firmly grasped the bars of my cell as he stopped about a foot in front of it and leaned in, “I have allies scattered around this castle like mice. A rebellion is forming, so shall we speak of our deal?”

“Deal? After you stabbed me in the stomach?” He scoffed and subconsciously lifted his hand to his side. As big and bad as he was, no one simply forgot the feeling of solid iron plunging through their skin.

“Fine, but good luck overthrowing Keith and winning the hearts of the nation without me.” I smiled and for a split second, I really thought I had Lotor where I wanted him. But that was all a facade, of course, as unlike the Blood Ball, he was one step ahead of me, this time. 

“I don't need you, peasant,” he sneered, “However, I will use you.”

“So our deal--”

“I propose a new deal,” I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head, “Tasting your delicate and tortured blood last week was almost euphoric. I want more of you, Lance, consistently, as well as the use of your so called allies to bring about a revolution, as previously agreed upon.” The way he touched his chest and groped at the fabric of his shirt made me absolutely sick. I assumed that meant he wanted me to be his honorary guest at the Blood Ball, but one who skipped out on all the frilly festivities. I could only imagine what Keith would say if I arrived with Lotor, danced with him and retired to his bedroom with him. Now that would be a good way to start a revolution.

“What? No fucking way--” I objected as any sane person would, but again, he maintained his stance as the puppeteer of my measly life.

“Or I kill the prince and take the throne by force. I enslave your pathetic race, and you never see the light of day again.” He cocked another smile and I swore there was a flame greater than hell in his godforsaken eyes.

“Are you serious?” I stuttered and staggered back from the bars where his glare had me cowering. Was he really a killer? I couldn't see it, not when I'd known him for so long. Even without any specific memories, you'd think my subconscious would at least warn me if there were any sign he was one. From what I'd remembered, Lotor was just like any other lonely bully. He faked his hatred and annoyance towards Keith and I when it was obvious all he really wanted was friendship. He enjoyed the attention, I'm sure, because I knew that deep down everyone just wanted to be thought of, even if they didn't act like it.

“Do I look like one to make jokes? Now, I must be off. You'd be an idiot to deny me, Lance, so think very carefully. Au revoir, my friend.” As he left, I felt like he'd taken my tongue with him. I had so much more to say but nothing came out. I stepped forward and banged my fists against the bars.

“Lotor! No, I-- Lotor!” I screamed and reached out for him, but it was to no avail. I cursed, kicked a wall with my bare foot and slumped into the corner. For the rest of the night, I went through phases of rage, sadness, desperation and fear. I couldn't think straight and it felt like my bones were about ready to tear free of my skin. So that was it? That was all it took to force a boy into betraying his best friend? A measly threat? 

I should have never made the deal with Lotor to begin with regardless of the benefits promised. It was my fate to die, not start a revolution and help a shitty man overthrow the first person who might have actually been good for our country. My arrival at the castle had brought upon utter chaos, and I knew in my gut that I hadn't even scraped the surface. 

-

They at least has the decency to put a burlap sack over my head as they dragged me into the sunlight. I hadn't seen it in days, just the musty darkness of the cellar. There were crowds around me, vampires gathered around to witness the execution of a young peasant boy. I couldn't imagine why, it's not like I was a murderer or anything; all I'd done was stab a man. I was sure that wasn't means for execution, but I doubted I was being charged for my actual offenses. 

“On November thirteenth, eighteen sixty eight, Lance Mcclain is to be put to death for aiding in the murder of the late Queen Kogane as well as the deaths of his own parents, advisors of the king.” A nobleman spoke as I was hustled up a set of stairs and I couldn't help but scoff. It was almost laughable, I was ten at most when the queen died so how the hell had I aided in the attack against her? They were all idiots, but I wasn't worried. Shiro and Pidge would save me, and if not, I suppose I'd care more about the maggots eating away at my eyeballs than any false accusations.

Those two had been at my side since day one, they were my best friends and I wouldn't be alive without them. But my heart was selfish, and the one person I wanted to see in that moment was Keith. Did he even know that it was the day of my execution? I couldn't imagine him standing in the crowd in compliant silence. I was certain he wouldn't let me die, but then again, I hadn't known he was engaged until someone else had to tell me, so could I even say I knew the man?

Eventually, my toes hit a wooden box and I was told to step up onto it. Despite knowing I would be saved before my feet were left to dangle in the air, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach and the tips of my fingers started to feel numb. I realised how bad I was shaking when I lifted my foot and my knees buckled; I was petrified, this was the very spot in which hundreds of men have died before me for crimes that could have easily been as fictitious as mine.

As I stood entirely on the box, a faint feeling washed over me, but not from fear alone. There were hoots and howls from all around me, familiar sounds that made me sick to my stomach. I felt a hand on the back of my head and squeezed my eyes shut, preparing to face the anger of the audience as the guard pulled off the burlap. It brushed past my face, and although I'd expected the blinding light of day, I began to feel drops of rain hit my skin the moment it was exposed. I flinched and slowly opened my eyes, but I wasn't staring at a crowd of ravenous vampires, I was in the crowd.

“Good morning, Prince.” A woman suddenly spoke from in front of me and I glanced up. Red hair, freckles, and blue eyes, absolutely stunning, however she looked down at me like I was a child. That's when it hit me: I was a child, or in the body of one, at least. I looked past her and saw a man on the same box that I stood upon in the present, young like I was and yet on death's row. I looked down at myself and examined my fancy-ish getup and short, skinny figure. It was a flashback that I was definitely glad to be having seeing as where I was in the present.

“Good morning, Miss.” I turned as the boy next to me, Keith, spoke politely to her. She nodded and smiled at me too and I did the same before she turned around to face the execution taking place before us. 

“This is gross.” Keith scoffed as he teetered on his toes trying to see what was happening. A rope was placed on the man's neck, from what I could tell, and I couldn't help but shudder. They yelled and chanted as the man quaked in fear. It was the same way they yelled at me, the way they yelled at someone they desperately wanted to see suffer.

“I can't watch this.” I said softly, and just as the words left my lips, a soft fabric fluttered over my face. 

“Then don't.” Once I realized it was Keith's cape draped over my head, I giggled and swatted it away as he let out a short laugh. It was childish how quickly we could forget where we were, because the chanting got louder and the man on the box starting screaming. My smile faded as I looked back up at the man. He was pleading and sobbing and I couldn't help but feel guilty. 

My vision had been crystal clear right up until the moment the man locked eyes with me. That's when my sight got blurry, when Keith went from standing at my side to standing right behind the man in a matter of seconds, screaming as if it were me up there. The executor swung his foot back and kicked the box from beneath the man, and just as the criminals neck snapped, I was brought back to the present.

The rope was around my own neck as I opened my eyes, and just as I took my first conscious breath, I felt the box slip from under my feet.

“Lance, no!” It was Keith, but whatever he said following that was drowned out by coughing and choking. Where the bloody hell were Pidge and Shiro? They were cutting it too close; something must have happened to them. I was teary eyed and running out of air as I scanned the crowd. Keith was there, screaming my name as guards help him back. He kicked and flailed his arms trying to reach me but it was too late. 

I grabbed at the rope in a desperate attempt to pull myself up but it was no use. I was running from the consequences of my own actions, so in a sense, my death was a suicide. The crowd got louder as my face grew an unnerving shade of purple. How could they enjoy watching a kid die? I suppose I was a murderer in their eyes, but based on what? They blindly took that information as fact and cheered as I was strangled. The only one that seemed to be opposed to it was Keith and that was simply because he was there with me when our parents died. Really, he'd been there with me forever, and I really hoped I'd see him again once his time on Earth was up as well. I wanted to hug him more than anything then, forgive him for keeping his fiance a secret from me and convince him to be at my side instead. But it was a little late for those kinds of thoughts.

I wondered if he knew there had been a plan for my rescue, or to him, was this undoubtedly my final moment on Earth? Maybe he just knew more than I did and found out that the plan had failed. Maybe Shiro and Pidge had been captured and he was trying to save me himself. I really doubted anyone was coming for me, so did I even stand a fraction of a chance? The idea of death had crossed my mind so frequently that it didn't seem like a real thing; I had dodged it so much that I was somehow immune. I knew that wasn't true, so why hadn't the fear kicked in? Was I so stupid that I put myself above mortality? 

I was humbled greatly as my eyes rolled back in my head and every muscle in my body began to twitch and convulse. I felt as though I was the center of the universe; everyone's eyes were on me as the life drained from my body. That was the humbling part: the center of our universe is just a star, one of the many in our galaxy, and as big and bright as stars are, none of them live forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello. Sooo.. I've taken a little break to reread everything I've written so far and jesus christ the plot holes are seriously killing me and I really do apologize. When i started writing this story, I didn't exactly know where it was going and a lot has changed over time, but I know now exactly where I want to take it and it is far from finished. However, there's a lot--and I mean a LOT--of things I wish I could change or include in earlier chapters in order to build more relationship development and include several unexplored sub plots. I'm not changing them now, of course, but when I've finished writing this story and I feel like everyone is caught up who wants to be, I plan to take it down and work on these major major edits on my own time away from archive. Why? Well, I really would like to publish this story as an actual novel in the next year or two. So yeah, that's my big news (!!!!) but don't worry, I won't leave you guys hanging without completing this story.. just be prepared for its take down following completion (I'll give it a few months for those of you who aren't on often). I really do thank you all for reading this far and I hope you're enjoying despite some obvious goofs on my part. Prepare for some trouble ahead and remember that I love all you guys so much !! ♡♡


	13. The Little Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visions of the past reveal an even closer bond between Lance and the prince than previously thought. Will Lance be able to stand being away from the capital for so long? Or will his new home give him the strength to finally move on from the past?

I found myself wishing for that moment everyone speaks of when they arrive upon the brink of death. They see their lives splayed out before them, every bittersweet moment they thought they'd never see again. I wished for that, at the very least, for clarity and closure. 

I'd been through so much in the past month that dying at the hands of a rope felt unfair. Why had God chosen to keep me alive when faced with vampires, hunger and disease just to let me die so quickly and with no opportunity to fight? As black dots ate away at the vision of a desperate prince in a crowd of savages, I felt tears fall freely down my face.

“Lance! Please, God-- I'll have you slaughtered! And your children, and your children's children if you do not unhand me this instant!” Keith's tears were even more fluid than mine, but I wished he had said something a bit less barbaric in the last moments of my consciousness. I knew that was the last time I would hear his voice on this earth as a mortal being. Maybe I'd see him as a spirit as he was married off to the woman I'd never even heard of before a few days prior. But it didn't matter; I refused to cross over with so many petty regrets. Just the same, I didn't want to focus solely on the pain of death, like how my eyes felt like they were about to rip from their sockets and fly into the crowd. That, or how the rope ripped apart the flesh it was enclosed apon and sucked all the air from my lungs only to turn it to fire.

“Hang on, buddy!” That voice wasn't Keith's, however. It wasn't a guards, either, it was a friends. I used the last bit of energy in my body to peel my eyes open as I gasped half heartedly. 

Suddenly, I heard the heavy thud of the hangman on the wooden planks a foot below where my feet dangled. My saviour had arrived, but it wasn't until the rope was cut down and I was throwing up on the ground that I knew I'd be alright. It was Shiro, out of breath and frantic with a bloody knife in his hand.

“I thought you'd never come--” I began to say through heavy pants when Shiro suddenly shoved the knife into my shaky, purple hands.

“Don't thank me yet.” He shook his head and lunged at me, swooping me up at the hip and tossing me over his shoulder like a sack of flower. I gasped as he took off down the steps and away from the roaring crowd. I stared back and watched guards holding back citizens and rebel trying to escape the consequences of their betrayal to our kingdom. But they were just as responsible for my rescue as Shiro was so I prayed for their safety. If not for them, I'd be meeting my parents and the queen a bit earlier than expected. 

“Lance, the knife!” Shiro called as we came to a screeching halt. We had been going so fast it felt like I was flying, just the same as when Keith ran with me through the castle. I handed it back to him as I heard the shouting of a man up ahead. Shiro threw the blade and the man went silent-- I saw why as Shiro jumped over his body lying dead in the alleyway.

“Oh my fucking God.” I whispered to myself as I watched blood pool around his face, forgetting Shiro could hear a pin drop from a mile away.

“He's fine, just a casualty. Now come on, we can't stay on the surface for long.” I didn't know what he meant until he dropped me off his shoulder a few minutes later. I wobbled once my feet hit the ground, everything happening so fast my body couldn't keep up. We were stopped in front of a manhole that was open just a crack with faint light coming from inside. It was like I was about to step into another dimension, like whatever was down there would transport me into another reality beneath the streets.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.

“What, did you expect to stay in the castle? You'll be staying with me in my cottage a few miles north, you'll be safe there for the next few months.” He lifted the manhole like it was a plank of wood and stood aside for me to go first. I faced Shiro who held onto my arms as I stuck one foot down and found the ladder. I could already tell I wouldn't like it, but I doubted I could outrun Shiro and otherwise he'd force me down there if he had to.

“Months?” I stammered, thinking only of Keith and how much it would pain me not to see him. I wondered where he was taken to after I was carried off. The was no doubt he'd be punished for his public display of affection towards a criminal, but I suppose it was just the first step in starting the revolution. A prince who was supposedly exposed for loving a human murderer, and a man at that, sounded like just the thing to spark the flame. It felt so shitty thinking that way, like I was a military leader debating in which direction I would send my troops to die. What felt even shitter was the fact that I had only just found Keith again and was suddenly being ripped right back away. Even if our past was missing from the catalogs of my memories, our present was more than good enough. I loved that man despite the turmoil he put me through, but that love was unrequited and the idea was laughable. 

He was engaged, which meant the deal with Lotor really was my only option. Marrying him to uphold the pact was out of the question before, but now it was just downright impossible. 

“Yes, Lance, and during that time, I'll find you a place to stay in our neighbouring kingdom, Altea.” I wouldn't have protested this if I wasn't involved with Lotor. Keith was unattainable and I had nothing else here, but I couldn't just leave unless I wanted to up and die one day without a single thought.

“No way, I'm staying here. Shiro, don’t you see what we've started?” I grabbed him by the arm as we began to walk down the tunnel. It was paved widely with bricks and had dirt walls held up by old planks, smelling similarly of my old village and dimly lit. He spun around and pulled his arm away from me, shoving his finger firmly into my chest. I gasped and staggered back a bit, the hurt more in my heart than body.

“It only worked because they weren't expecting a bunch of rebels to risk their lives to save a human. It was the element of surprise--”

“We'll keep surprising them, then. Do you know what you've done? You saved a human from certain death. This is huge, it's the start of a fucking revolution. Shiro, we can lead these people--” I shot back and stepped towards him, pushing his finger further in my bony chest until he was forced to pull back. He stared down at me, at my hollow chest and scrawny arms, at my narrow face and almost girlish features. He sighed and put his hands on my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze like a dad would while telling his son his dog had died. 

“Lance, calm down. Look at yourself, you think you're fit to lead an army?” 

I didn't think so, not one bit. I wasn't loyal, my pride was more important than my life, and I was weak, mentally and physically. I couldn't lead an army even if I actually had the motivation to do so. And I didn't, because I knew it would rid Keith of any possibility of taking the throne.

“I wouldn't be doing it alone.” I said as he turned away and started walking down the tunnel without me. That part was true, but I was at a loss as to how I would do it or who I would do it with.

“We'll talk once we get to safety. For now, just shut up and trust me.” He shot me down with little forethought and I couldn't say I wasn't hurt. Shiro was such a good leader and I looked up to him more than anyone. It felt like shit when I could tell he was upset with me or frustrated, like I let down the person I felt closest to in that moment. Keith was a liar, Pidge was long gone, and the only other person I really knew at the castle was Lotor. Shiro was all I had.

After almost an hour of silent walking in the dark with only the occasional low flickering torch, we reached a steep staircase that led back up to the surface. When Shiro lifted the wooden door at the top, light flooded into the tunnel and I winced at the sudden exposure to the sun. I didn't dare disrupt the silence as Shiro took my head and led me to the ground level. 

A gaped at the sight laid out before me and felt my heart flutter in remembrance. It was the ruins of an old town just outside of the castle, one made up of old stone structures with vines crawling up the decrepit walls. I knew I'd been there before, but no specific memories came to mind. It just smelled like a place I'd been to before, like fresh rain and stagnant water. Shiro pushed past me and began walking along a brick path that had been mostly eaten up by weeds. I stayed back, straying away to visit every lonely home that had been long since warmed by the fire of a family. I ran my hands alone every wall I could get close enough to touch, but some were so far enclosed by bushes and towers of grass that I doubted they'd be visible given another year. 

“Lance, don't stray behind. There are wolves here and you've been through too much today to fight one off.” He called back as my fingertips traced the space between two stones.

“I thought that was your job.” I took one last look at the buildings lining the dwindling path and ran up behind Shiro. Soon, there were no more houses, only a small mansion less than a tenth of the size of the King’s castle but still breathtaking and definitely fit for royal blood.

“What the hell is this place?” I muttered and slowed to admire the gothic structure. It truly looked like the stuff of legends, as if Dracula and his bride were fast asleep in their coffins somewhere inside. It seemed as if it had been gutted though, no wood remained and definitely not any furniture or fabrics. It was merely a stone skeleton, having aged with no means of preservation.

“It's where the King and Queen of centuries ago lived. This used to be the capital, believe it or not, but you've been here before, I'm sure. The prince must have taken you at least once.” He trailed off and began to get ahead of me while my feet felt stuck in the mud. I stared at the structure and watched it go in and out of focus. I felt a migraine wash over my psyche and the sounds of the birds in the trees surrounding me turned to voices. I blinked and tried to wipe away what I knew was coming but couldn't run from it for long.

“Shiro…” I called to him as the voices got louder and my legs felt as though they were made of jelly. I heard him run to me just as I lost the last bit of strength in my body and stepped into the realm of the past.

Keith was there, as usual. I saw him and smiled, he was older than in any other vision I'd had and his smile was the most handsome I'd ever seen it. He waved to me and beckoned me to follow him into the miniature castle. I was so used to these peeks into years prior that I didn't hesitate to begin the adventure I had already lived through once before. 

Keith and I ran like children through the castle and it was just as I had thought it to be, like a skeleton of his own home. His laugh was so pure and full of life that I couldn't help but mimic it. 

“Lotor completely lost his mind and Hunk was just about puking, he was laughing so hard. I really wish you'd been there, Lance, it was right up your alley.” Keith recalled as we climbed a set of stairs. I didn't know what he was talking about or who Hunk was, but the name did sound a bit familiar. But regardless, I went with what felt natural, doubting I even had a choice in what I was saying. 

“Oh yeah? And why's that?” I smirked as he spun around and yanked me up the final few steps. He lifted me in the air once we reached the top floor which my past self seemed pretty comfortable with. There was open walls on all sides from which you could see the current kingdom all the way to the Forest of Ash. I'm sure it had been a lookout at some point in time, or possibly a planetarium or observatory. 

“You know exactly why, you serpent.” He scoffed and spun me around like I was weightless. I giggled as he lowered me to the ground and pulled me towards him.

I couldn't control what I was doing in these visions considering they had already happened, but I'm sure my eyes would have popped from my head if I could. Keith put his hand on the back my neck and rested his forehead on mine. It felt wrong of me to view these memories, almost as if I was invading my own privacy, somehow. But unfortunately for my curiosity, I wasn't able to witness any of the rest of that riveting scene.

Shiro's hand replaced Keith's forehead as I opened my drowsy eyes. He was checking my temperature, I think, but my mouth was too dry to ask him any questions. I coughed and tried to sit up in the bed he'd put me in but he stopped me before I could make it very far.

“You need rest, Lance. Stay there and I'll get you some soup.” He sighed and left my bedside. We were in a small cabin made up of only one room, but it didn't look like the type of place a man like Shiro would live. I watched him walk over to the stove where a pot was about to boil over. I sat up once he was turned away and stretched my tired muscles.

It took me a moment to recall the events leading up to that moment. I barely survived my execution then walked through a tunnel to an abandoned kingdom, had a vision of a teenage Keith spinning me like his bride, and now I laid in Shiro's cabin in the middle of nowhere. It had been quite the eventful day, but I could hardly think of resting. 

Lotor had given me no chance to resist him, so it was up to me to get together an army and convince Keith to fight the government that seperated our races. That army would lose, of course, but no one would get hurt and I would live. Keith would be spared but once the King died, Lotor would take his place. I decided to ignore that part. In theory, what I was doing was a good thing for the sake of humankind, but it wasn't up to me whether or not it would be successful.

“I can't rest now, there's so much to be done. Did you see how many people were fighting to save me? They risked everything--”

“And they'll die for it. They'll die or become slaves and never see their families again. Is that really worth it to you?” Shiro spoke loud, but I could tell even he wasn't confident about the words he was speaking. 

“For freedom? Yes, it is.” That's what separated the two of us. I'd always been good at lying, at conning people and making my words seem like the truest words that had ever been spoken, even if I couldn't believe in them any less.

“Well, Lance, what do you expect us to do? Where will we get the blood we need to survive?” And that's when his ulterior motives finally poked through. He acted like he truly cared about people, but all that really mattered to him was keeping humans in cages so his belly stayed full. I should have figured. If Keith had the ability to keep his engagement a secret, I didn't doubt Shiro was just as shady. All vampires were the same, it seemed.

“Where did you get blood before humans were enslaved, Shiro? Huh? You're telling me you can't live without humans living in confinement?” I shot back as if I were a saint, as if I were the chosen one humankind had been waiting so desperately for. I wasn't, not even close, but it was an easy act to put on.

“Humans have been enslaved long before the war--”

“So that makes it okay? Because it's been done for so long? Pidge’s family was torn apart by your people. You say you're her friend yet you're okay with her family suffering?” I was getting so heated that I thought for a second I really did care. Of course it was wrong and of course I'd help stop it if I could, but that wasn't my job. I wasn't humanities hero, I just wanted to survive.

“Fucking Christ, fine! I get it, Lance, I'll help you. But know before you make any decisions that this is a suicide mission. No one in their right mind is going to join you, only other fools like you,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair that I could have sworn was getting grayer by the day with all his involvement in my life, “But first, you need to rest and fuel up, okay?”

“Fine, but only because I think I might have lost a few pounds while I was locked up.” I looked down as my stomach and lifted my shirt. At one point in my life I'd probably been fit, but now the impression of abdominal muscles were fading into skin and bones. 

Shiro soon walked over with a tray of soup and bread and sat down next to me while I ate. It wasn't like the castles food, but then again, it was made by a guard so I couldn't expect a five star meal. But it had been so long since I'd saten down and eaten in a safe environment that I enjoyed it as if I'd never tasted salt and pepper. That's just what Shiro was to me: safe, warm, and reliable, like a good bowl of soup. Maybe his kind wasn't all bad. He'd given up arguing with me so easily, so maybe it wouldn't be hard getting others to do the same.

“I know it's soon but I must return to the castle and begin to sort out the mess we've created. Stay here and someone will be here to take care of you soon, listen for five knocks and only open the door then.” Shiro had taken my dishes away and begun to strap on his boots, but I hadn't expected him so go so far so fast.

“You're just going to leave me here? By myself?” I questioned and pouted, but he wasn't having any of that. He just rolled his eyes and opened the door with a huff.

“Yes, keep yourself busy and don't get into any trouble please. I'll be back at sunset.”

For the next hour, I rolled around in bed, slept as much as I could, and dug around through every nook and cranny I could find. Shiro wasn't the most interesting man, if I were being honest. The only evidence of anyone but him ever staying there was the decorative style of the small cabin, but hey, how was I to know a burly man like Shiro didn't just have a knack for interior design?

I guess I'd fallen asleep at some point because I was in the middle of a nap when I heard knocking on the door. The thing was, I'd been obviously unable to fully comprehend my surrounds for a moment there and only heard four out of the five knocks. There must have been a fifth, right? No one else would be visiting such an off beat cabin, right? But he'd made it very clear to wait for five knocks… 

I decided to open the door anyways, so I suppose what happened next was my own fault. It took about three seconds for the visitor to burst through the door, pin my arm behind my back and shove me face first into the bed. On second thought, maybe listening Shiro wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo so I'm kind of bitter when it comes to love atm because my boyfriend of eight months cheated on me and opened the door with the girl he cheated with when he invited me over to get my stuff. I may have dropped a picture frame really hard on his foot so oops¿ anyways, I'm writing for you guys despite love being dead to me ♡

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This story will be updated every Sunday (**sunday-ish, and that's a stretch sometimes but I do my best and I'm sorry I'm literally a piece of shit ♡), so I hope you'll continue on this journey with me :) Thanks a bunch!


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